i'm sure i should be asleep

but clearly i'm not.

i am tired, sure. i want to sleep. but too many things are running through my head. things that i am not, at this time, ready to talk about here. maybe someday - when therapy has loosened some tongues. sometimes it is not better to leave words unspoken. but on the other hand, sometimes it is.

and that, my friends, is how you end up with:

- cryptic posts
- news reports rather than wry observations
- or no posts at all

so you can see why i abandoned this blog at one point, eh? those traits do not lend themselves to good reading. or for that matter, much in the way of conversation. because i may be quiet, but my mind is almost always racing. it's just a matter of what seems appropriate to share. and pretty often, not much is.

i guess for now: i'm trying to avert a personal disaster, and also taking baby steps in the aversion. i'd rather take gigantic steps to get there, because baby steps annoy the crap out of me, but this isn't just about me. also i'm not so sure this diaster is avoidable (honestly, sometimes i don't care if it isn't) but time will most certainly tell. it always does - little brat.