the internet is about collaboration

a friend of mine made (most) of this for me based, as you might guess, on how funny we think we are. i then complained that 'nice' was not on the list. i am a big fan of that word, and did not think it fair -- nay, nice -- to have it left off. i wasn't sure of the point spread for nice so i opted for something more precious.

that's right. animated sheep. and if you're lucky, LOTS of them.

HAppy Friday. :)

what, i'm posting already?

i know, less than a month and here i am again. wtf? i blame it on a variety of things:

1. my mom is moving out. when? hard to say, because she has to wait for her rental application to go through. where's she moving? BACK WITH MY DAD.

apparently she has to re-apply to live there, and that can take a while, so she'll still be with us a few more weeks til that settles. meantime she's with him this weekend - their anniversary, wouldn't you know - as a 'let's see how this goes+couples therapy' round.

yes therapy, which is the sole reason i feel partly ok about her going. it's not that i want them to stay apart - a big part of me wants them together - but i want them to do so *smartly*. you know, when my dad has not only taken some responsibility for his actions, but had time to prove he's being responsible. the operative words in that sentence are responsible and time. i think he is starting the responsible thing, but time? he's just started. there's no way to tell if this is all a ruse to get my mom back. it's not like there haven't been ruses the other 5-odd times she's left before.

but i digress. and in a surprising move, i told my mom exactly why i thought this was a bad idea, at this point in their process. normally i keep my mouth shut - her life and all. but surprise, she's living with us, so i'm a little more invested, and plus her being right there apparently forced my mouth open.

2. i am insanely bored at work. note, i have plenty to do, for the most part -- i just want to do something else. and i want to BE somewhere else, in an environment that is not so restrictive. but, because of the upcoming whirlygig removal (late feb, woo) i'm not going anywhere for a while. but after, well...we'll see.

on that note, i am incredibly grateful for my job. i know so many people have been laid off, work mind-numbing, back-breaking jobs and i'm grateful that mine requires neither. well, the mind-numbing, at times, but usually doesn't last long. anyway, i'm keeping my eyes and ears open is alls i gots to say.

3. i am realizing i need to get some more friends. another earth-shatterer i know. but i am talking about people i can go to the movies with, people here. i have plennnnty of online friends. i want someone to go to dinner with, hike, and in the past i've made most of my friends at work. that isn't working as well here, which means i need to branch out. it's frustrating because, honestly, i'm a little lazy when it comes to that. it's hard work and a lot easier to spend my weeknights or weekends running errands, watching tv or going for a drive. so, this is a kick in the pants note for myself.

4. i've had a serious writing problem for months. as in, not writing. what, you couldn't tell? you're so sweet lying to me like that, thanks. but it's true and i suspect/hope it may be ending soon because:

a) i've actually been *thinking* about writing the last week or so, and i hadn't thought about writing for a long time, but
b) i actually wrote this morning. it was just about a sexxxy dream i had last night (good morning!) but writing about all that passion, well, it fired the little Writer in me up.

so i am thinking good thoughts instead of the pessimistic ones. at least for a couple of hours.

ok that's it for now, time to get cracking on the day. hope you all are having a good weekend. :)

friendliness is next to..

this morning i was talking with a casual friend, who needed to change when we were going to meet. it also could have impacted min, and so he said, 'is your friend going to be ok with that?'

since we were talking on the phone, and his end was having a love affair with static, it wasn't until a few seconds later that i realized he said friend...not min. not partner, girlfriend, sweet baboo...friend.

i've known this guy for a couple of months. i have talked about min, and referred to her as my partner, several times. he knows that we live together, have been together for quite some time. he and i haven't discussed the nature of the universe, what makes us laugh, and by no means are we BFF, but we've shared a fair bit of our worlds and have pretended to race cars.

so it is no mistake for him to call her my friend. he is doing it intentionally. from the aforementioned conversations, i know that he has a conservative religious background (and perhaps foreground), which as many of you know, is the perfect breeding ground for homophobia.

which means, in our politically correct times, that if you think being gay is tantamount to terrorism (albeit some sort of subversive sexual terrorism), but still have gay couples in your life, you will refer to them as being friends. maybe even "special little friends".

as you might guess, this is not the first time this has happened. i've gotten very, very used to it, from medical workers to coworkers to family members. but apparently, today is the first time it really pissed me off. maybe it's because i just moved from california in time to miss out on marriage equality. maybe it's because yesterday, when another friend discovered that my 12 year anniversary with min was just around the corner (25th), she practically squealed and hugged me. or maybe it's because i've gotten used to mildly liking this guy, but now i know he's bigoted, either by choice or ignorance.

or maybe i'm just PMSing. you know, girls do that, and that certainly is a good cop-out for anyone wanting to dismiss this rant. i know it's a rant, but so what? i pay my taxes. i work 5 days a week. i make sure my pets get their medicine. i vote. i read. i exercise. i work at my relationships. i help my parents. i deserve the same respect as anyone else. that means, unless you are:

- a complete stranger
- my extremely-old-and-last-surviving-grandparent

you should use the terms i designate, because that's what respectful communication is all about. if you happen to call The Woman You Live With your wife, then that's what i'll call her, too. if you call her your partner, mate, significant other, girlfriend -- that's what i'll call her. if you call her your sweet baboo, i will laugh, but if you're serious, then i will probably call her 'the baboo' and you will laugh. and i would expect you to do the same for me. anything else is being an asshole.

i mean, think about it. i say partner, you say figment of my imagination. you're denying my reality. you're taking my word and asking me to pretend it means something else. you're trying to make me in your image, and i'm sorry, but only god gets to do that. and don't tell me you're god's megaphone. god speaks to everyone, and i can hear just fine.*

*as n approaches infinity, some corrections may be applied

spring at my house

looks thusly, according to my mediocre but still powerful cameraphone:

and in the strange but true department, yesterday on facebook i found a friend who came to our wedding, 11 years ago, because she's a friend of dharma! really this was a friend of min's, and they lost touch after we moved from montana 10 years ago, but still, that was really damn trippy. and cool.

hoping to see my parents today, and hoping my dad's leg is doing better. this infection of his isn't letting go. bleh. think good thoughts, think..

smart cookie

your clever mind will lead you to many rewards.

so said my fortune cookie, at lunch today. i can attest to my cleverness yielding rewards o'plenty. i can also attest to it fucking things up rather grandly. but for the most part, i like clever. it's much more entertaining, for me AND for you.

in the Slightly Amusing Department, since i'm waiting for clearcase to wrap up…friday night i rediscovered the joys of meatloaf.

i am generally of the opinion that no one makes good meatloaf except my mother. i have ventured into the beefy wilderness, on one or two occasions, resulting in gastric acid misadventures and of course, wasted scrilla. this all changed on friday, when min and i met karen and samantha for dinner at rick and anne's.

there was a beet salad that was tempting, as well as my standby, mac&cheese, but for some reason, i felt the call of the beef. i was considering my options when karen pointed to our left and said, "i think that's the meatloaf over there."

and what before mine wondering eyes appeared, but a pile of creamy mashed potatoes and beef gravy, itsy broccoli florets, and thin green beans, encircling a sizeable slab of gravy-topped meatloaf.

instantly i began salivating. i couldn't smell it, but it looked so amazing, it just *had* to be. so i ordered it. and oh, how good it was. seriously.

our conversation was also quite lovely. as was k&s's cute little abode! very cozy. really dug the wheaties display in the kitchen, and atticus jumping in my lap after 2 seconds, and promptly falling asleep.

saturday we went to SF. saw the therapist for a very good session. there be some growing in our household! i'm really proud of both of us, really. still plenty of room to get better, but we're communicating in a much healthier fashion overall and that's nothing to sneeze at. went to palomino for dinner and decided that place isn't as good as it used to be. oh well.

sunday we went to breakfast at mimi's cafe in campbell. as we got out of the car, min looked across the street and saw that my new favorite movie, stranger than fiction, was playing at one of the century theatres. "hey, what do you think about seeing STF later today?" she asked.

how can i not think that's a good idea? so after grubbin we went and checked the time - 7pm. wah. let's check the paper! hey! 235 at the camera 7! since min needed a few more winter shirts, we killed a little time at ross, got me a winter jacket (finally), and then headed over to ze filme. which ended up being a double feature with for your consideration. incidentally, that movie? kinda mediocre. but did have this great line: The internet. That's the thing with email, right?

i enjoyed STF (and now i'm enjoying its proximity to STFU) just as much as the first time. i am also enjoying the same post-movie writing spike, thank you very much. i love anything that reminds me of how completely bewitching prose can be, and that's precisely what this film does. so color me a little more in love than i was yesterday.

wrinkles, burritos and Limited Time Offers

in an entirely boring series of internet trolling events, somehow yesterday i ended up on a movie poster/wallpaper website and stumbled onto this set. the will ferrell one is pretty funny but not surprisingly, i opted for the lovely yet utterly stark shot of emma thompson. apart from her nicely disheveled reddish hair (o red, how i love thee), you can really see her wrinkles, her age, and for some reason, that makes me love it more. every time i clear the apps from the screen, or start up the computer, seeing this shot of her makes me think of the movie and subsequently, want to write.

and that feeling -- the desire to create -- is better than any pleasure i might get from a cute, silly, artistic or nature- related backdrop. it makes me feel alive. even if all i do is write a little blog entry like this.

today did not go quite so well as yesterday but it was not without its treats. after a very annoying workday and later botched attempt at visiting richmond, i went to el cerrito and visited a ross, trying to cheaply procure another professional outfit. i only had the one outfit, you see, that fit me. :-p i used to have this beyoootiful baby blue suit but now that's a world away.

after scoring a couple of decent options, i hooked up with the lovely karen and samantha for dinner! when they found out i was going to be up their way today, they sweetly invited me to a meal. i'd met them once before - at liz's baby shower - so i had a vague idea of how they looked. but naturally i didn't remember what they sounded like, so when a woman answered the phone i asked, is this samantha or karen? the woman laughed and said, is this heather?

hee. anyway it was samantha and - i forgot to tell you then - you really do have a great laugh! we met at a place down the street (from me) whose name i've already forgotten, but it was pretty tasty burrito-ness plus some great conversation. afterwards we went to coldstone creamery, which considering how full i felt as i headed home, i probably should've skipped. but...so! tasty! and good to get to know you guys a bit better. :)

tomorrow i was hoping to visit the telegraph street fair, however considering the amount of rain forecast, i think i'll pass. hopefully next weekend will be better for outdoor exploits! and tomorrow night i'm planning to go to the sing along messiah in oakland. scored me some free tickets back in july!

which brings me to the Limited Time Offer. i can't recall how many tickets i have - it's either 2, or 4. right now i'm going by myself, but i could bring with me 1 or 3 additional people. i'm going to call tomorrow to try to confirm but... if anyone out there is interested in attending, email me (queen at iheather dot net) by 2pm tomorrow! i promise not to sing off key. ;-)