i have no excuse not to write

at least this morning, so here i am. so what's the haps the last few weeks? well, certainly not my mom moving in. she is now targeting next weekend. since she's given me a new date, i suppose this weekend i will actually work on the guest room...

what i really wanted to do this weekend was get out halloween decor. over the weekend we went to the roloff farms - home to the little people, big world show, if you watch that.

min is a big fan and was ecstatic (i surprised her) to go there finally, despite having to hobble a bit. she'd wrenched her knee the week before. we got some nifty pumpkins which i will try to showcase sometime before halloweenie.

afterwards, we went to see a bad movie but followed it with yummy japanese. 8 or so hours after that, min got up from bed and uber-wrenched her knee. 10 or so hours after that, we came home from the ER, her with a big ol knee brace and orders to rest. has she been resting? using the brace? sort of. grr.

i know i'm being a bad blog hostess, what with these sporadic posts. however, if you want more frequent - if one line - updates, you should add me as a friend on facebook. i know you're all dying for up to the minute heather news, so consider this your best source.

and since i flubbed several words in the attempt to type that last paragraph, i have a question for y'all, especially those of you who might be older than me. in the last few months i've noticed that i'm starting to misspell words -- and instead of transposing letters (my longtime favorite) -- i'm spelling semi-phonetic-variations. for example, dying became dieing. news was originally knews. so....has this happened to any of you? this rampant misspelling affliction? i feel like my synapses are starting to break down.

an update on my odd little world

• things are entirely too busy at work.
  
• but i got a teeny soda can acknowledging my contributions!
  
• a new person just joined our team, so maybe things will get better...in a month, when they're trained
  
• my mom finally came for Her Weekend of Processing
  
• yes it was productive...and long.
  
• yes she says she's leaving my dad. in fact, she says it will be next weekend
  
• i'm not holding my breath
  
• she's coming to stay with us...temporarily. she says she's excited about getting her own place
  
• not holding my breath there either.
  
• mom in the house will be good for min (for several reasons) but a big one is:
  
• about a month ago, min stopped driving. she's having (more) forgetful+depth perception-type issues. so it'll be good to have another driver in the house, for a while
  
• i am really proud of min for making that decision. my dad should've done that a long time ago.
  
• and of course, i am proud of my mom, taking some of the steps she needs to feel good about herself
  
• i will be even prouder if she actually does what she needs to by next weekend
  
  and most importantly:
  
• there needs to be a ghirardelli store in portland

khaaaaan!

in planning yesterday's forays outside the home, min mentioned she might like to see a movie. while i finished puttering, she browsed the internet to this end. and in the end, the only good thing she came up with was topper at the stanford theatre.

now topper is a fun little movie and i do love me some cary grant. back when i used to drool over men, i had this poster of him from north by northwest on my wall.

but we weren't crazy about the times for it, so i sat down to look as well. and after a few moments i said, 'oh, man! star trek 2 the wrath of khan is playing at the del mar, but at midnight!'

min instantly surprised me by suggesting we could go out, run our errands, come home for a nap, and then go to the movie. i laughed. because, yeah right! come midnight -- let alone 3 am, which would be the earliest we'd get home -- our asses are in bed. maybe not long for mine, but she'd have been down for hours.

i went to get dressed. i couldn't stop thinking about it. star trek! on the big screen! Fun! Prizes! Montalban! i said as much and min repeated her napping suggestion.

and i am very happy to report she actually made it! she has been having a real hard time with her teeth and stomach lately, so i really thought the movie wasn't going to happen. we got there a few minutes late and thus missed getting tickets for the drawing (see: Prizes!), but what was really awesome was who won: a young boy in a star trek (TNG) uniform. he was so happy and adorable. one of his prizes was a foam khan-esque muscle suit. heh.

oh and the movie, much fun. apart from the movie itself, it's been a while since i've been to anything fannish, and really enjoyed the extra giggles and cheers at some of the cooler...and campier...elements of the show that trek fans appreciate. anyway, not a bad way to spend a saturday night. :)

what's fit to print

min's surgery last week went pretty well, really, thank the bejeezus. and thank him i did. her recovery was a little wibbly wobbly but not anything really unexpected. her sister lori has been staying with us since tuesday -- mostly for moral support it seems, rather than actual assistance, although she did make some soup. =)

work has alternated between really hectic and really slow. i have a feeling starting this week (starting today, at any rate) it will lean more towards hectic. i did this unexpected thing, i volunteered for a high-profile temporary position within our group called a Bug Czar. it involves going to a meeting every day and keeping tabs on all of the high priority bugs for web dev (of which there are many) and generally getting called in on anything urgent.

why did i do that, you might ask? aren't i utterly disinterested?

well yes i am. here's the catch: NO SPECS. i have no new specs (projects) for a month and a half (til mid-april). that means no pesky javascript or ajax or what-have-you. and i am ever, ever so grateful for the repreive. there's these lulls of quiet time and then a couple of hours of craziness. it's weird but it works for me.

admittedly the lack of substantial coding appeals to me most. but so does the occasional spot of downtime, by which i can bring you posts like these. and hopefully, in the future, far more interesting ones. ;-)

taking a bite out of...a lot of things

you may remember that recently i asked for good vibery by way of min's toofers -- she had oral surgery scheduled which was abruptly cancelled.

well, it's been rescheduled and i forgot to tell you. it's tomorrow at noon. so, internet loved ones, please keep her in your thoughts. i'm sure she will appreciate all the goodness she can get!

incidentally wrt my annoyed post over the weekend, things are going a lot better now, thanks! let's just say there was a lot of processing talking that we'd put off for way too long, and i'm very glad we're moving forward. me like forward.

speaking of roots...

no, this is not a post about a television miniseries or levar burton, altho i mildly enjoyed his eyebrow skills while he was on STNG.

the roots i speak of today are in the mouth, which is the root of much pain, at present, for min. long story short, as a side effect of her life-saving surgery last year, her teeth are in an accelerated state of decay. it's gotten worse in the last few months in particular, to such a point that now extensive extractions are required. due to last year's surgery, she can't undergo these extractions at a normal dentist, but requires an oral surgeon.

the *only* good part to all this is that the necessity of this is due to a medical condition, so our blue cross, instead of delta dental, should cover it. much better payout!

and i say should cover because we didn't get the luxury of preauthorizing...we'd planned to wait it out, but in the last week min's pain has been off the charts - fractured teeth will do that - and so here we are with last minute (scheduled yesterday!) surgery.

so, anyone reading in the next day or so, please keep her in your thoughts. she's due for a pretty rough ride, considering the rest of her medical situation, and would welcome all the good vibery there is out there.

and now that i'm completely bleary-eyed from yet another crazy week at work plus the dental wackies, i'm going to bed. nighty night, internet. =)

thank you

to everyone who sent condolances on min's mom. so very sweet. min is now en route to tucson, but in a vehicle rather than a plane. she lost her wallet near the end of her Great Escapade and thus only has a temporary replacement license. they won't let you fly with those (requires a passport or other ID that she doesn't have).

so, with a little scrilla from her sister wilma, we turned in one rental car and got another for her next expodition. amazingly even that was fraught with technical hijinks but i'm too annoyed over the whole thing to write it out. end result: new car. fine.

had considered going with her (and pearl, who loves the car so of course went with min) but i needed to stay here today and tomorrow. for everyone who sent me good vibery, danke schon, i think it helped! hopefully it'll carry over to tomorrow's adventures in richmond. when i think richmond, i pretty much think of their oil refineries. if anyone has recs for good but cheap dinner up yonder, gimme a holler! i'm sure i will be peckish afterwards.

tonight i was at the stanford mall, getting some dinner and blithely looking for christmas presents. i have decided i don't really care for that mall anymore. it has some decent restaurants for a mall, i'll give you that. but the rest is pretty much upscale, predominately bland yuppie. midrange, moderately bland yuppie, i'm used to and usually it includes some unusual places as well. and i remember more of that the last time i went - admittedly, a good 5 years ago or so. i was hoping to stumble onto some excellent gift ideas but no luck. ah well. Ye Olde Internet, don't fail me now!

jinx

i took today off so min and i could have a little fun. however, that is not what happened. our day was jinxed first by the phone call we got around midnight, from her sister wilma. i pick up the phone. wilma says: i wanted to let you guys know that mom died.

WHAT? i say, both because i'm half-awake and can't believe it.

unfortunately this made her repeat it. unfortunately i blurted out with another WHAT? and she graciously repeated it again. then she started to tell me more details and i said wait, and handed the phone to min.

later i felt bad for how intense and abrupt i was, but hey! i could barely hear her through my sleepy haze. and on top of that, it didn't make sense. dead? out of the blue? what? later m told me i was fine, my sleepiness distorted how i thought i sounded, too. :-p

min always had a pretty rocky relationship with both her parents but in the last few years, and especially the last few months when she got to visit with her mom for almost 2 whole weeks, she really reconnected with her mother. and of course, now she is ever so grateful she had day after day to just talk with her.

her mom's health has been iffy for a while, but relatively stable considering she'd had a few strokes and strong diabetes. apparently she had a quick onset of pneumonia, and had been in the hospital a day or two. then last night her blood pressure suddenly lowered, and she went into a coma. she died about an hour later. a rather gentle way to go, really, considering.

we totally could not afford to fly or drive her down to tucson, what with the Great Trip she just took that we haven't finished paying for. but one of her sisters is going to cover a flight down and she'll leave thursday or friday. she actually didn't want to go - she feels like she said goodbye to her mom already - but is going to support wilma, who is the foundation of the family even when she should sit on her ass and take a break.

i asked if she wanted me to come with her and she said nah, not for her sake. admittedly i felt ambivalent about the whole deal, but we realized it was really better for me to stay because of a) money b) my thing thursday and c) pearl, who we'd have had to get a sitter for. technically we could bring her but she's been a little under the weather and i'd rather not put her through a plane ride right now.

despite all this we hoped to get out to SF today, take advantage of the free first tuesday at the deyoung museum. but - i suspect partially due to the above - min was just too sick today. there were a lot of phone calls this early morning, and then needed more sleep (we both did), and when she got up, the stress, i think, just made her condition really horrible today. she fell asleep early tonight though so i'm hoping tomorrow is better. for everyone.

metamorphosis

despite not really feeling like i've changed that much in the two months (ok, 7 wks 6 days) min was away, i guess i really have. some of this has (apparently) been apparent on this blog, but most of it i've just felt in my heart and mind.

anyway, i'd realized some of this over the last few weeks, but i really didn't feel a need to articulate it much until i had another person here asking me questions. ;-)

yesterday, amid a flurry of craft fair visitations, we went to oakland for yet more craftiness. on the drive up she asked me about something that i *deplore* talking about: AG.

what with all i've said to date regarding AG, that might surprise some of you, but it's true. and in this case, i deplore talking about AG not because of how i feel about her, but because of what that relationship means to min. so: she asked me how it was going.

well the truth is it's going really great. and by that i mean, there's nothing happening at all and barely even care. i haven't talked to her in, well, almost 2 months. i stopped reading her blog ages ago and i don't get email from her anymore.

granted, the early period of withdrawal was brutal. and to be clear, i don't feel like my actual feelings for her have changed. but my awareness of her, her impact on me even if she wasn't trying to impact me whatsoever, has dimished to the point that..well, like i said, i almost don't care if that ever changes.

and even more, at this point i don't WANT it to change. things are going ok for min and i right now, it feels like, and i'm hoping that with work and love it'll just get better.

incidentally - and i noticed this when i was getting reports during her trip - min seems to have more energy. gets up earlier, has more energy, period, during the day. still has all the pain, but seems to be doing better managing it. i seriously did not think that when she got here late saturday, we'd be able to go out and have fun most of sunday, but we did. i know that sounds like a little thing but believe me, that's a substantial improvement. it makes me feel hopeful, for both of us.

there are other ways i feel like i've changed in the last 2 months but i'm getting tired, it's been a long day (thanks clearcase) and this post is long enough already. :-)

ps. i really am addicted to wordie. i've added 15 more words since my last post.
pps. psst: think good thoughts for me thursday afternoon.