so i've been thinking

i know i'm amusing from time to time, but as you well know, those times are quite rare. that is, if you're looking for amusement here. because if you look, say here, i believe you will find amusement on a weekly if not daily basis.

that's the first time i've looked at that page. it points out i am a fan of muppets, bacon and sleep. and if that's not amusement from the get-go, i don't know what is.

i promise this is the last time i'll pimp FB. suffice to say i hope any remaining followers will join me over there, because i have been thinking about calling my spade a grave-digging tool, and getting rid of this thing. but then i thought hey! it's nice to be able to wax on if i get a hankerin'. keeping in mind that i seem to hanker less and less these days...

oh and before i forget: any of you who have Blogger-based blogs, i'm sorry i haven't been commenting. the firewall at work does NOT play nice with their system. i can read, and post, but not comment. ridiculous but it's just the sort of corporate efficiency i've come to expect.

on that note, i got a minor promotion at work. which means i'll be ignoring you with a greater level of efficiency and entitlement, going forward. all hail the Slacker Queen, who still loves nuts on her desktop:

good morning

why yes i'm still here. although, admittedly, usually i am over *there*.

this has been a crazy week. probably because i am covering for my boss plus still doing my regular job. oh, and the car broke down. but thankfully, like most weeks, it's getting better as it goes. hopefully i have not just jinxed myself by saying that.

monday was me & min's 13-year anniversary. we went out to troutdale for a picnic and walk. part of the walk was going to be downtown but apparently they decided to celebrate memorial day by not working. so then we went to see termin@tor 4 (not that great) followed by a quick trip to powell's. who can argue with books?

look at me, being chatty. so what's up with you?

happy friday!

hi,
i am a combination of really busy, and really lazy.
other than that, i have no excuse for not writing.
well, except for a horrible cold that lasted a week.
does it help to know that i'm not doing any writing on the side, either?
work emails don't count.

but, i finished my site redesign. is it up yet? well, you can peek...
but no, i won't finish updating the main site til i get home tonight...or this weekend...
but it does feel really good to have that done.
but now i have to redo my resumes and THAT will take longer
but, go me for having a less-cluttered site.
but will that help with the scrilla?

time will tell.
time also travels and i hope to see some of that this weekend, when i take my parents to see the new Star Trek.
time for that was supposed to be last weekend but apparently, last weeked was:
time for my sinuses to go bananas.

speaking of bananas, i'm outta here!
and i will try to be more interesting next time.
oh wait! here's my current desktop:

ok now you can't say i'm not entertaining.
END TRANS

um...howdy!

yeah so i've been neglecting you. would you believe me if i said i'm sorry? how about if i said i'm sorry plus made this face to represent my shame?

3 weeks without a post! i'm sure i've gone longer, but there's just no excuse, really. i mean, it's not like i've been doing any of these things:

so really, other than the usual yawn-worthy excuses of mind-numbing work and the necessities of modern life, i have no answer for why i have failed you so desperately in supplying entertainment, particularly in the arena that is the web log, or "blog", if you will. no excuse at all.

unless, of course, you are willing to consider the notion that something big is around the corner. something exciting. something that literally could turn your mind to this:

is such a thing coming? is it possible? do i - do we - dare to dream of such a day?

time will tell. but don't believe everything you hear. time also can fly, but only under the right conditions.

you have been warned.

hey peeples

so i survived the whirlygig affair. i must say, recuperation is taking a lot longer than i figured. part of that is probably because of all the end0metri0sis that had to get "removed". they don't tell you that til afterwards -- especially if they don't expect it going in -- but removal of that shit means **burning** it away. so needless to say, my innards haven't been the happiest of campers.

but yesterday marked 2 weeks since the big day, and i was able to eek out a normal work schedule this week, thanks to the happy pills. i thought i could go back earlier and believe me, i was mistaken. but thank god for barely enough borrowed-PTO time and aforementioned pills.

other than feeling better physically, honestly what i can't wait for is having the mental and emotional energy to write. well, you know -- funnies. because this post's my creative limit for now, and i get how sad that is. :-p

so here's to chortles next week! man, i love that word. CHORTLES.

the good and the bad

since my last post:

good: i've written more funnies.
bad: not as many as i'd like. i know, pretty minor bad. but this is because:

good: i've had some work to do. this keeps me from chomping at the bit.
bad: see above

good: i get a cyst, (very likely) 1 whirlygig, and bonus material removed thursday afternoon!
bad: that i need surgery at all. also that i have to take vacation time for it, since work's sick/vacation policy sucks.

good: that i have a job, crappy policies or not.
bad: that i had to turn down a totally ToTaLLy awesome job because of what i'd have to write about. their posting was anonymous, so i didn't know what i was getting into when i applied. i really thought hard about it but realized i just couldn't swallow a senior writer gig *there*, because i just don't get *them*. a one-off i could probably swing. full time hack? nope. and that sucks.

good: i may be jinxing it, but today looks to be light. here's to more writing!
bad: none because la la la a pox on the jinxing!

downtime sorta sucks

especially if you're, let's say, also struck with writer's block. the funny thing is that i did start a new story the other day, but when i find myself with time to think about - and work on - it, i get frozen. the thought of penning anything further just stops me in my tracks.

i am sure it doesn't help that this, and the story i'd started late last year, involve a lot of personal history mining. i didn't mind mining, i suppose, but i think i'm getting frozen (in advance, mind you) thinking about the inevitable sharing of said stories -- for example, min is in my writer's group.

how do people ever write semi-autobiographical stories? at least about people who are still alive. i can't turn off that damned internal Nice Girl for more than an hour at a time, it seems, before she just clams up. and sure, i could write pure-on fiction. but this other stuff is clogging up the drain, and so nothing lovely is getting through. or rather, nothing inordinately clunky. a little clunky i don't mind, but this...

besides work and being creatively cranky, things have been all right. we've been working through this, i took down 80% of our christmas tree, finally went to the (somewhat disappointing) downtown library, the world was coated in white for most of sunday, and i have eaten here twice in the last week. carbolicious!

in closing, i would like to thank the facebook gods for being occasionally diverting.
that is all.

i suppose i've been taunting you long enough

with the promise of a real post that is. one with meat, although i hope the photos were a decent stopgap. and wow, i just noticed how long since there was meat, and it was mid-november. sorry, folks!

the short version is that work has been verra busy and i love the holidays but not my ovaries.

1. work? dull but busy.
2. holidays? because of #1 and other things like ARTIC BLAST 2008 i did very little decorating and our tree was out in the snow a little longer than it should've been. and i baked sugar cookies! which are also not decorated. mom made the frosting finally, last night, so i anticipate sprinklage this evening.

also worth a highlight is my earlier christmas present, a new camera and yes it is pink and no i would not have picked that color on purpose since i am not smitten with my X chromosomes. more on that later. however, it was the last one, a discounted floor model, which is probably why it is now broken. worked fine for a month and then on christmas day, wouldn't boot up. as soon as i find all the packaging, back to the store...

btw, for the most part, i loved our 14-inch snowpocalypse because a) i love snow and b) it made less people drive but c) i'm glad it's all melted now, thanks.

ok so on to #3: the reproductive whirlygigs.

i have never been a big fan of the reproductive whirlygigs. it's good i never planned to be a baby factory, since there's a history of defective whirlygigs on both sides of my family. now that i think about it, it's surprising we've reproduced as much as we have. :-D

but i digress. oldtimers may recall i have this bit of fun which - for the most part - has not troubled me too much the last few years thanks to modern prescriptives. in the last year, though, it felt like one of those gigs was whirling too much, so i went to the doctor. turns out one of those recurrent cysts decided to get a little wacky and so - presumably sometime next month - that cyst and corresponding ovary is going buh-bye.

at first i hestitated. i was annoyed at the thought - and expense - of surgery for something that was not that big of a deal. then the cyst decided to pitch a fit (primadonna) and so fine, i got the surgery ball rolling.

but apparently that was not good enough, because starting christmas eve, i got a nasty, impromptu period. thanks to my aforementioned support of the pharmaceutical industry, nasty, impromptu periods have not happened in over 3 years.

friday afternoon, i called the (on call) doctor. long story short, "it happens" but follow up with your regular doctor next week. over the weekend it got worse, and i started to worry, so sunday we went to the ER. long story short, "it happens" but follow up with your regular doctor this week.

turns out my regular guy is out til next week. meantime things are a little better, and hopefully all these symptoms will die a quick death soon, but this whole 'sometimes whirlygigs go bananas' explanation is really damn annoying. if any of you have experience with this, please feel free to share.

i will say this -- i'm really looking forward to the surgery now, if only to put a stop to this monkey business. three cheers to being sansa-monkey!

proof of boredom: 2 posts in the same week

i was really bored this morning. oh, i had work, but not enough of it, because i am a work-eating machine. so before i went to lunch, on facebook i set my status to:

Heather hopes, upon return to her desk, to be greeted by either work or inspiration.

and inspiration was what i got. i have work friends on facebook, and apparently one of them decided my hope should take the form of a post-it.

fine by me. it's staying in front of my keyboard so that i remember to take a break - mental or otherwise - more often. and, what i really meant by inspiration was, inspiration to write.

i am in a serious funk when it comes to penning any fiction, and haven't written anything new in almost two months. before this was about work insanity but the last few days, every time i think about writing i hear 'work on your goals!' from the bosslady in my head, so i drudge through personal improvement training instead.

this is another form of procrastination and i know it. the truth is, nothing is moving me long enough to write. post-post-it, i even opened up a file called 'inspiration' and started pasting in tidbits from this awesome site i randomly found the other day. i had a whole page of it, and then i had to go somewhere - for a walk? yes, after more mind-numbing training - and when i came back, i just stared at them tidbits. yeah? so? interesting? but apparently not enough.

so. any of you writers or creative types -- has this happened to you, and what the hell did you do to break out of it? do i just need a vacation? yes, i have been stressed with family stuff, but i don't think that explains it all. i'm just really having a hard time getting started, hearing a story. and yes i just figured out i need to hear at least part of the story before i begin.

ok any of you with ideas, please hammer 'em into me.

an update on my odd little world

• things are entirely too busy at work.
  
• but i got a teeny soda can acknowledging my contributions!
  
• a new person just joined our team, so maybe things will get better...in a month, when they're trained
  
• my mom finally came for Her Weekend of Processing
  
• yes it was productive...and long.
  
• yes she says she's leaving my dad. in fact, she says it will be next weekend
  
• i'm not holding my breath
  
• she's coming to stay with us...temporarily. she says she's excited about getting her own place
  
• not holding my breath there either.
  
• mom in the house will be good for min (for several reasons) but a big one is:
  
• about a month ago, min stopped driving. she's having (more) forgetful+depth perception-type issues. so it'll be good to have another driver in the house, for a while
  
• i am really proud of min for making that decision. my dad should've done that a long time ago.
  
• and of course, i am proud of my mom, taking some of the steps she needs to feel good about herself
  
• i will be even prouder if she actually does what she needs to by next weekend
  
  and most importantly:
  
• there needs to be a ghirardelli store in portland

3 weeks without a post

thanks to work and its unholy love of eye-numbing, scope-creeped css projects. so yeah, i'm alive, and i love you, but it'll probably be another week before i start being able to breathe. i had a whole day without the little monster (yesterday) but now it's back. thanks, yo.

i want to hear from you lurkers. what are you doing? why aren't i hearing about it on your blogs? if *i* can post at least once a month, so can you. consider yourself on notice!

in other news, all this work is distorting my passion for writing. any of you writers out there -- have you ever gotten wonderful feedback+praise on a piece, only to feel completely pessimistic about continuing work on said piece? that's exactly what happened to me saturday afternoon, a few hours after my writer's group. my 1st thought was, wtf? i haven't had time for many 2nd thoughts because i haven't had time to fictionalize much (see above). i am sure it's just some of that legendary neurotic writer business but still -- annoying.

finally, i want to thank longbottom for creating an iced german chocolate mocha. it is second only to the butterfingery mocha goodness in cambria and no, i don't yearn for that on a regular basis.

on being nice

yesterday i was in a meeting that traditionally begins by asking if anyone in the group has "opens" or open issues they need to discuss. naturally these opens are usually a problem of some sort.

p.s. i hate the term opens.

anyway, a coworker of mine says yes, she has one, and proceeds to praise me for the next 90 seconds or so. there was a huge, mind-numbing project that got split between 4 teammates and, long story short, i ended up doing approximately 80% of the project instead of my original 25%. i volunteered for that, because as i've mentioned before, my nemesis is boredom. and being me, i did that work very, very quickly. to be honest i don't really think much of that--that's just how i roll.

but because my friend a) made her declaration during a time normally tasked to problems and b) is very genuine AND effusive, this rubbed some of the 15-odd attendees the wrong way. over the next hour, several folks made snark. if person A mentioned that person B helped them with something, person C would go, 'hey, i want to hear more about how person B helped you. can you talk more about that?'

and so on. i also got called out 2 more times for various work-related proficiency by different people, and at the end of the meeting, when there are "closing opens", i was greeted with "yes, i would like to point out that heather has a really cool tshirt".

haha. after having to explain the shirt (...), i said, ok, no one gets to talk about me for a month.

because i knew that all this attention meant i was going to get teased, and not necessarily in a nice way. it's happened three times already, and each time there's this undercurrent of:

- who the hell are you anyway?
- you're so quiet--you *can't* be working as hard as *i* am
- why is nobody praising to me?

i don't mind recognition -- i am a leo, mind you -- but this left a bad taste in my mouth. and to be honest, i feel worse for my coworker. she has a sort of irrepressible but levelheaded enthusiasm that is refreshing in the workplace (perhaps i'll nickname her Sprite, or Long Island Iced Tea). she's also a little older and hopefully in this case, wise enough to withstand some mockery.

of course the saddest part is the people who felt they had to make fun of a very nice person. insecurity issues, anyone?

pretty-random

craziness at work makes for a dull blog, and very little creative writing, which makes me a sad monkey. but in the interests of giving YOU fodder, here's a couple highlights from the last week:

• get thee to a punnery
  
• post-rapture help and - my favorite - letters and advice on procuring a post-rapture bible
  
• how to make your AA woman happy
  
• and finally, a new story-related picture:
  
  

is this for the story i'm over 16,000 words into? of course not.

the phantom premise

apparently i can't write any more today. not the book, anyway, which is sad because i was really tooling along for an hour or so. i'm at 14,717 words now, i'm in the middle of a scene, with more good stuff around the corner, but apparently it's friday and i'm tapped out for now.

but i still want to do something mildly creative, so here i am. :)

incidentally, i have permanently adjusted to not really working. or to be precise, exchanging 1-4 hours per day of Actual Work in exchange for getting to write and/or fuck around. most days it's about 2 hours. since i'm getting paid to write, it will probably take a natural disaster to make me quit. so yes, i've decided this job is a true blessing.

in other news, you may have heard that oregon is one of the few states left with a primary. it's next tuesday and incidentally, ALL mail-in. this was a pleasant surprise; my last few years in cali i'd gone absentee, because i hate taking off time from work only to wait in a long line that does not involve roller coasters.

anyway, this is the first time min and i have voted for different folks. she has been a clinton supporter forever, and while there are things i admire about clinton...at the moment, the things i *don't* like about her are winning out.

and why am i telling you all this? because i hate the idea of a wasted vote. we don't have to be of one mind, not at all. but knowing that we are going to cancel each other out, it offends my political sensibilities.

in another fit of random, hot damn is it damn hot. wunderground says NINETY-TWO right now and no that is not normal for here. probably going to hit 95 in the next hour, right when i'm driving home. for the record i do not like heat. if you've met me, you can guess why. hint: i have been accused of vitamin E deficiency.

i think i'm tapped out again. let's call it monitor-induced apathonia and leave it at that. have a good weekend!

i'm a sign (post)

as you may recall, i mentioned the existence of some...unusual signs in my workplace. and by unusual, i mean for a corporate environment, at least every one i've worked in the last 15 years or so.

i have uploaded some of my favorites, but these two take the cake, in my opinion:

whenever i see this one i want to a) run with scissors and b) purchase my own stop sign, so i can smack people in the head. just like mr. bear.

stairs: the phantom menace.

ketchup

NOT catsup. anyway, someone around here is eating something with ketchup, and golly geewillikers if that isn't driving me absolutely crazy with wanting a burger, or fries, or something that involves that godforsaken condiment being slathered all over it. thanks to the lack of circulation in these parts, the scent of ketchup has been hovering in the air for a good hour now, i'm sure of it, and something tells me i'm getting fast food for dinner come hell or high ketchup.

ok enough with the work, people

since i'm over the 10,000 word mark, i'm trying to keep writing and these oodles of work tickets are not helping. neither is packrat, now that liz has shown me the folly of my former ways. damn you, internets!!

um...

it's been a slow day, work wise. i actually *did* have work this morning, and a bit at lunchtime, but since i'm a little speed demon, really i've only worked, hmm, an hour today. throw in some blogreading and facebook time, and you'll see i still had plenty of time to write. today's count so far -- and it's only 243pm, people -- is 1307. that puts me at 8974 words total, and while i am happy to be making such uninterrupted progress, at the same time...apparently i can't handle doing the same thing for hours on end. i am interrupting myself, this very post a perfect representation of my inability to focus.

oh and i KNOW i already wrote about this before, but hey, bloggers have to whine sometimes, don't they? so nyah. i wonder how long i can put up with this weird schedule.

while i'm here, in other news...

- if any of you hold Good Vibes (or PrayerTix), feel free to send some to min. she is having more stupid doctor trouble.
- my eyes love attracting pollen like a presidential candidate loves wooing superdelegates.
- i work with a very nice group of people, and yesterday i found out one of them reeeally enjoys my bill moyer podcast collection. and yes, carol, that's your fault.
- this place has a love of safety signs that cannot be denied or left unmocked. i suspect a post about them lurks in my future.

ok back to writing...time for a little molecular biology, woo!

progress report

in lieu of a rambly post, here's a general rundown on the last month.

* ~35 degree days i've been able to go *comfortably* coatless: 5
* times i've had to scrape ice off the car: 3
* hours spent researching/plotting novel: ~30
* hours actually writing: ~8
* words to date: 3571
* number of holidays (familial, cultural): 4
* hours i've spent actually working on the job: 16 (includes 12 hours of meetings)
* so, hours of not working: 127
* books read: 6 (8 by april 1)
* average book rating: 3/5
* new coffeehouses located: 1
* times i have felt grateful (this week!): 5

omg

i just worked for a whole hour STRAIGHT!

also, my dad is doing better. :)

that's it. hope you are having a Good Friday.