this weekend left me feeling very grateful. there have been no gold-showering rainbows, no happy pills for family tension, work or health issues, but that does not stop me from being blessed. for example:
my mom was supposed to come stay with us over the weekend. we were going to have some fun, sure, but also high on the list was helping her process, so to speak, her future. be a sounding board, troubleshoot ideas, etc. because she has not done that yet, not really.
but it's been weeks since this debacle started! you might say. and to you i say: very astute. but time moves very, very slowly when you are sick. which means, no, my mom did not come over this weekend. she called friday, rescheduling to saturday; called saturday rescheduling to sunday, and sunday to cancel completely. sunday brought 'needles pricking all [her] joints', along with a 102 degree fever. i wish i could say this was horribly out of line, but unfortunately, it's only a mild deviation.
which is why, almost immediately after talking with her, something pushed me onto the back deck. it was almost 80 degrees, sunny with a wonderful little breeze. i realized that, as an able-bodied person living in an absolutely gorgeous area, i had a moral imperative to take advantage of it.
and so i did. as a nice surprise, min came too. we traipsed around a wonderfully lush park, with semi-steep paths right down to the willamette river. once we got to the rocks and blue, pearl started chasing a larger dog into a good-sized pond and ran right into it...for about 2 seconds, and then backed up. she turned around to look at me. water?!?
she did this about 4 or 5 more times, which = big big fun for her AND for us, giggling away. after that, i walked over to the river and got my feet nice and freezing, drinking in the air and peaceful surroundings: quiet chatter, dogs barking, boats scooting by, water lapping at me, wind in my hair, sun keeping everything in check.
i would give a lot to make my mom better. meantime...man. we had a good day. :)
Showing posts with label gallavanting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gallavanting. Show all posts
Monday, September 08, 2008
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
let freedom ring (6.15)
the bostonian adventure continues...
back onto boylston, then hit the boston public garden (enjoying history en route), then onto the common and the beginning of the road i would follow carefully for the next several hours. first up was the massachusetts state house, which i enjoyed much more than expected with all the stained glass windows, and wishing i could've seen an actual house or senate debate. apparently they were in session, but NOT for me.
next i went past park street church (renovating), and down to king's church, which was less thrilling than i expected, although i did enjoy seeing the oldskool velour boxed seats. if someone knows the proper name for those please tell me, i'm really curious. the church was pretty full with tourists, but it wasn't loud. there was a quiet, reverent energy, which perfectly matched how i was feeling about my day.
afterwards i was going to stop at the athenaeum (history! books!) but i was getting worried about time, light, and wanting to make my way over toward faneuil hall before having lunch (had picked a restaurant out ahead of time) but a few blocks down, near old south meeting house, i realized i was going to collapse if i didn't eat NOW. so i plopped down to eat and write:
i continue on to faneuil hall, which has charmingly turned itself into a touristy shopping center. however it did have some modestly priced, modestly tolerable trinkets, so thank you, city planners. while attempting to continue, our little trail ran right into a farmer's market. on the other side of it was a wide expressway. hrm.
after trudging through the market, i cannot find the trail, and consult several of my maps (most have the FT on them). i come upon a probable course of action, at which point a friendly local asks if i need help.
'i just figured out where i am!' i say.
'great!' he replies, 'you've got GPS built into your brain!'
which for the record, is true. anyway, it took a few blocks to get back on track but then voila! magic red bricks appeared and i was shortly in the north end.
the north end is just beautiful. seriously. well, almost all i saw of boston was beautiful but the north end and charlestown (coming soon) were just cobblestone dreams. i only took one shot of the paul revere mall on my phone, but honestly, it was a perfect intersection of history and nature. peaceful, and again, reverent, which is good since it was right next to the old north church.
which was also closed, so i trotted downhill and over the charlestown bridge, into the blinding sun and down towards the shipyards. surprisingly even this area kept me entertained, both with humor and interesting textures. then i backtracked a bit to go up to bunker hill, winding thru more adorable neighborhoods with their flower boxes, gold doorknobs, and weathered lampposts. even just walking past random houses, i was filled with a sense of walking through history. probably because of all the 'historical registry' signs.
made it back downhill to the docks and narrowly missed the ferry back to boston. good time to try calling home again! had a good talk with m, then hopped on the new ferry. spent the ride back enjoying the sunset and picking a dinner locale using guidebooks.
found a couple of possibilities, which all seemed too expensive once i got there. so i wandered down the street to the place i'd wanted to go earlier in the day -- the black rose! an irish place, where i gambled with fate by having my first whole lobster, and a beer. the beer sucked. tasted like garbage. but the lobster...drool. then popped on the ubiquitous subway back to my hostel room, where there was again, much reading and then zzzz.
6.15 10am-ishso, got up, showered, made my way down boylston street, heading towards boston common, which is where the FT starts. i was not yet upon trinity square when i realized i was perilously close to closing out my current roll of film. still penny pinching, i got one roll of film at a CVS pharmacy. i had another backup for the day, and another one back at the hostel, so i thought that'd be enough. hit starbucks and a few blocks later, south church/trinity square. which is where i seriously started falling in love. snap snap snap.
i slept so hard. which i needed.
i hope i remember to take a pic of the view from (one!) of my windows. but the view du jour is across the street, a brownstone with endless bay windows and flower boxes, and little trees.
it's quaint in words i don't know how to describe. but it's the kind of thing that makes me think i could've been at home here or in NY since at one point that was an option. anyway it seems soothing and makes me look forward to today, when i will be seeing so much more of the same on the Freedom Trail, with some deviations of my own intent. we'll see what i have time and energy for after that. =)
there is a free 'breakfast' here but for me it sucks. raisin bagels, weird prepackaged muffins and sad looking coffee. so i had an energy bar - thank god m thought of me bringing some! and now i'm trying the cookie/bars i brought from ebay live last night. cookies - breakfast of champions!
back onto boylston, then hit the boston public garden (enjoying history en route), then onto the common and the beginning of the road i would follow carefully for the next several hours. first up was the massachusetts state house, which i enjoyed much more than expected with all the stained glass windows, and wishing i could've seen an actual house or senate debate. apparently they were in session, but NOT for me.
next i went past park street church (renovating), and down to king's church, which was less thrilling than i expected, although i did enjoy seeing the oldskool velour boxed seats. if someone knows the proper name for those please tell me, i'm really curious. the church was pretty full with tourists, but it wasn't loud. there was a quiet, reverent energy, which perfectly matched how i was feeling about my day.
afterwards i was going to stop at the athenaeum (history! books!) but i was getting worried about time, light, and wanting to make my way over toward faneuil hall before having lunch (had picked a restaurant out ahead of time) but a few blocks down, near old south meeting house, i realized i was going to collapse if i didn't eat NOW. so i plopped down to eat and write:
6.15 345pmgot my coffee, then back on the trail. it's late afternoon now so by the time i make it to some of these places the museums have closed. oh well, i probably wouldn't have shelled out anyway. for some reason i feel especially charmed around the exterior of the old state house.
i just finished lunch. not where i wanted, although my heart wasn't set on it (black rose?), but i was hoping for something more interesting than a bagel sandwich. some local outfit called brueggers, near the old south house. tasty but a little boring.
i'm only 5 stops into a 14 stop tour (FT) and it's taken me about 3 hours, give or take. at this rate i'll get back to the room by midnight. and shit the official tour takes 90 minutes. 90!!! i'm glad i didn't shell out, i'd be annoyed at not getting to dilly dally. i waited too long to stop is how i ended up here, and because of the sugar crash, i'm trying to give myself a few minutes to recoup. before i get my coffee across the street, that is. SBC! mmm.
i am having the best time, wandering, taking pics of whatever takes my fancy. i only get annoyed at my capacity and the limitation of my cameras. i just had to buy more film (3pack) but i figure this is better scrilla spent.
i'm still too tired. every time i stop i realize i'm jelly. but that's what coffee is for.
seriously, Best Time Ever.
i continue on to faneuil hall, which has charmingly turned itself into a touristy shopping center. however it did have some modestly priced, modestly tolerable trinkets, so thank you, city planners. while attempting to continue, our little trail ran right into a farmer's market. on the other side of it was a wide expressway. hrm.
after trudging through the market, i cannot find the trail, and consult several of my maps (most have the FT on them). i come upon a probable course of action, at which point a friendly local asks if i need help.
'i just figured out where i am!' i say.
'great!' he replies, 'you've got GPS built into your brain!'
which for the record, is true. anyway, it took a few blocks to get back on track but then voila! magic red bricks appeared and i was shortly in the north end.
the north end is just beautiful. seriously. well, almost all i saw of boston was beautiful but the north end and charlestown (coming soon) were just cobblestone dreams. i only took one shot of the paul revere mall on my phone, but honestly, it was a perfect intersection of history and nature. peaceful, and again, reverent, which is good since it was right next to the old north church.
which was also closed, so i trotted downhill and over the charlestown bridge, into the blinding sun and down towards the shipyards. surprisingly even this area kept me entertained, both with humor and interesting textures. then i backtracked a bit to go up to bunker hill, winding thru more adorable neighborhoods with their flower boxes, gold doorknobs, and weathered lampposts. even just walking past random houses, i was filled with a sense of walking through history. probably because of all the 'historical registry' signs.
made it back downhill to the docks and narrowly missed the ferry back to boston. good time to try calling home again! had a good talk with m, then hopped on the new ferry. spent the ride back enjoying the sunset and picking a dinner locale using guidebooks.
found a couple of possibilities, which all seemed too expensive once i got there. so i wandered down the street to the place i'd wanted to go earlier in the day -- the black rose! an irish place, where i gambled with fate by having my first whole lobster, and a beer. the beer sucked. tasted like garbage. but the lobster...drool. then popped on the ubiquitous subway back to my hostel room, where there was again, much reading and then zzzz.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
leavin on a jetplane (6.13-6.14)
ok folks here is part 1 of my boston adventures. the rough draft for the whole trip? 5259 words. that's why i'm breaking this shit up, for you AND me. there are some repeats between what i wrote out here, plus what i included from journals on my trip. hopefully they are entertaining, and still read well the 2nd time around. :-p
also i must say, it's been a lot of fun writing this on independence day, since so much of this trip's history revolved around the american revolution. to visit so many sites from such a formative period in our country...it truly filled me with patriotic pride, and believe me, that's saying a lot.
wednesday, june 13
god what a crazy day this was. i wisely arranged to work from home, both due to my nighttime departure and that min was getting an endoscopy that day. although the endo took much longer than planned, it was also MUCH smoother than the previous time (which was almost a complete disaster) so even though it messed with my planning for the day, having her test go well was a real blessing. even if the results of the test were not great (she's probably going to need more surgery on her esophagus).
after that we got her sister lori (who stayed over while i was out of town) and we got home maybe 2 hours before i had to leave for the airport and i wasn't even packed and showered. somehow i pulled it off and we got to the airport at 720pm, 90 minutes or so before my flight. it was baking hot that day so i couldn't stand the thought of eating dinner, at least not until i got into that air-conditioned food court.
i did this trip on the cheap, in the extreme. we had just spent a lot on our cambria trip so i was a little strapped. anyway i mention this now because i started off cheap: a kid's meal at burger king. :-o
that was more about being mildly hungry than frugal, but believe me, i can pinch pennies. i have been poor, i know how to squeak by. afterwards i figured i might as well get the security checkpoint business over with. i'd left everything questionable out of my carryon bag, although i got points deducted for forgetting to take out my cell phone on the first pass, as well as not remembering to take off my shoes.
Security Chick: Shoes.
Me: Yes?
SC: [points to my feet]
Me: What about them?
SC: Take them off.
Me: [blushing]
blushing because this is when i remember liz telling me to wear shoes that come off easily, because i will need to be sansashoes. oops.
on the other side of security was my boarding gate. at that point there were plenty of seats so i decided to write.
thursday, june 14
finally we arrived in bostonia around 6am. since i planned to subway my way around, i got me a 7 day pass outside the baggage claim and headed over to the subway shuttle. the subway station was actually kind of nice. high glass ceilings, beautiful light coming in, and down where the trains came in, endless brick. my first taste of bricky love.
while waiting, i see that my line's final destination is wonderland. i really wish i would've gone there, i was so curious what it was like. i'm grooving on the names of everything, they're so old. like alewife. then i think, ciderspouse rules?
since i've never ridden the subway before, and i have to take 3 lines to get to the hostel, i was a little nervous. it really was so simple though, they really do a great job with the directions. by my middle stop (switching to green, government center i believe?) i have already seen my 5th dunkin donuts shop. those guys were everywhere.
exiting the subway and into the light again, i am loving the smell of the city. sure it's a little dirty, old, and tired - but there's also this reverberation of energy. the pulse of life zooming and angling around me.
i check my map like crazy to make sure i'm going the right direction. see the berklee college of music where my college roommate kelly went briefly, i believe. i hope she is still playing music, i haven't heard from her for a few years.
i turn down the block, another left and voila - hostel! i register, check out my bunk and locker, freshen up briefly then out the door and back on the train to do my service!
and by service i mean the convention i'm supposedly out here for, eBay Live. security incorrectly routed me and several other folks to the wrong side of the building for registration. finally got there though, and met more...inefficient planning in the self-registration booths. anyway, that complete, i called the other coworker who's on this trip. she's running late, so we agree to hook up later. i went to a class, then down to the booths to meet Coworker. we chat, and talk about meeting for dinner (we never did). i go get lunch, attend another few classes, then hit the booths. since now i'm killing time until the keynote ceremony, i sit down to write:
got bored to tears with the wooden speeches and value adds, plus hi, i'd been going nonstop since yesterday morning at this point, so i bailed at the end of the paypal speech. subway'd back to my room where i thought i'd crash but apparently i needed to wind down. and wind down a lot because i read this for at least 2 hours before going to sleep.
compelling book? not really. in fact, i almost put the book down because of tedious dialogue and a typo (their/they're) on page 9. yes, even 3 weeks later i remember it was on page 9. that's how much typos cheese me.
i also talked a bit to my lower bunkmate, a fellow conference attendee and budding ebay seller, from philadelphia. she said in the latter part of the keynote, they kept talking about win-something.
me: what?
her: you know those things you get when you feel real good?
me: ...
me: you mean, endorphins?
her: yes! but they called them windorphins
me: somebody's been thinking too hard.
anyway after talking and reading, i finally crashed. sleeping wasn't too bad although going to the bathroom in the middle of the night was tricky (down ladder, don't forget room key, amble down hall, come back, remember how to use key, grab ladder appropriately so as to not fall, put key back in easy to remember spot). then i woke up and it was time to write again.
also i must say, it's been a lot of fun writing this on independence day, since so much of this trip's history revolved around the american revolution. to visit so many sites from such a formative period in our country...it truly filled me with patriotic pride, and believe me, that's saying a lot.
wednesday, june 13
god what a crazy day this was. i wisely arranged to work from home, both due to my nighttime departure and that min was getting an endoscopy that day. although the endo took much longer than planned, it was also MUCH smoother than the previous time (which was almost a complete disaster) so even though it messed with my planning for the day, having her test go well was a real blessing. even if the results of the test were not great (she's probably going to need more surgery on her esophagus).
after that we got her sister lori (who stayed over while i was out of town) and we got home maybe 2 hours before i had to leave for the airport and i wasn't even packed and showered. somehow i pulled it off and we got to the airport at 720pm, 90 minutes or so before my flight. it was baking hot that day so i couldn't stand the thought of eating dinner, at least not until i got into that air-conditioned food court.
i did this trip on the cheap, in the extreme. we had just spent a lot on our cambria trip so i was a little strapped. anyway i mention this now because i started off cheap: a kid's meal at burger king. :-o
that was more about being mildly hungry than frugal, but believe me, i can pinch pennies. i have been poor, i know how to squeak by. afterwards i figured i might as well get the security checkpoint business over with. i'd left everything questionable out of my carryon bag, although i got points deducted for forgetting to take out my cell phone on the first pass, as well as not remembering to take off my shoes.
Security Chick: Shoes.
Me: Yes?
SC: [points to my feet]
Me: What about them?
SC: Take them off.
Me: [blushing]
blushing because this is when i remember liz telling me to wear shoes that come off easily, because i will need to be sansashoes. oops.
on the other side of security was my boarding gate. at that point there were plenty of seats so i decided to write.
6.13 750pmtime to fly. and so i say: jetblue, i love you. you are comfy, you have good snacks, and you let me watch the best shows ever without leaving my seat. also later, while unsucessfully trying to sleep, i also found out how to make money on the internet. a truly compelling program.
i'm waiting at gate c8, flight leaves in an hour. meantime i'm having fun people watching. got the burgeoning female exec with her laptop and too many bags trailing behind, plus a baggy floral print shirt drenched in sweat. now there's another female exec, buttoned-down, trim with 2 tiny, expensive bags hanging from her hands, and white blonde hair striking against her uber-tan skin, bordering on red.
i am a little red today. my veins are still popped out from the heat, which was an unwelcome surprise today. it must've been at least 90 degrees today, but whatever the temp, it just about killed me with all the running around we had to do. min had her endoscopy today and as these things go, it went swimmingly. she didn't feel anything during, barely even the IV since they got her in one poke. one! she's starting a trend, i believe that's the 3rd time in a row.
just saw a budding rock star - or more likely, country. cool, blonde hair, goatee, and a good sized guitar case, which means acoustic. no metallica for you.
the girl behind me is resting her head on my shoulder. it's an accident of course but it's sweet.
this really is a good way to see a cross-section of folks. at least, folks who can afford to fly, which i have to imagine is a $100 minimum.
well, now a woman just walked by who looks like she couldn't even afford that. disheveled hair, long and greyed, older than old sweatshirt and bag, muttering to herself. hmm.
a puppy! terrier or maybe griffin? i forget the name, but tiny (smaller than pearl), shaggy and grown. mom was holding her close, now she's in a soft carrier. so cute.
so we have everyone here. young, old, short, tall, wealthy, poor and critters.
thursday, june 14
finally we arrived in bostonia around 6am. since i planned to subway my way around, i got me a 7 day pass outside the baggage claim and headed over to the subway shuttle. the subway station was actually kind of nice. high glass ceilings, beautiful light coming in, and down where the trains came in, endless brick. my first taste of bricky love.
while waiting, i see that my line's final destination is wonderland. i really wish i would've gone there, i was so curious what it was like. i'm grooving on the names of everything, they're so old. like alewife. then i think, ciderspouse rules?
since i've never ridden the subway before, and i have to take 3 lines to get to the hostel, i was a little nervous. it really was so simple though, they really do a great job with the directions. by my middle stop (switching to green, government center i believe?) i have already seen my 5th dunkin donuts shop. those guys were everywhere.
exiting the subway and into the light again, i am loving the smell of the city. sure it's a little dirty, old, and tired - but there's also this reverberation of energy. the pulse of life zooming and angling around me.
i check my map like crazy to make sure i'm going the right direction. see the berklee college of music where my college roommate kelly went briefly, i believe. i hope she is still playing music, i haven't heard from her for a few years.
i turn down the block, another left and voila - hostel! i register, check out my bunk and locker, freshen up briefly then out the door and back on the train to do my service!
and by service i mean the convention i'm supposedly out here for, eBay Live. security incorrectly routed me and several other folks to the wrong side of the building for registration. finally got there though, and met more...inefficient planning in the self-registration booths. anyway, that complete, i called the other coworker who's on this trip. she's running late, so we agree to hook up later. i went to a class, then down to the booths to meet Coworker. we chat, and talk about meeting for dinner (we never did). i go get lunch, attend another few classes, then hit the booths. since now i'm killing time until the keynote ceremony, i sit down to write:
6.14 227pmfinally it was keynote time, through which i got free dinner, woo! score one for the penny pincher. and finally got to try dryer's (edy's) nibs. oh my. those are dangerous. i found out that there are people with over 100k feedback. holy shit.
well just like yesterday we have an amazing amount of diversity here at the show. people are determined to affix Every Button Possible to their shirt, coat, suitcase, lobster hat or colonial outfit. or maybe stick it to a crazy tall hat with dangly things on them. apparently this is the place if you want to dangle.
there is a preponderance of significantly overweight older white women here. sure there's kids, couples, white, asian, everything under the sun. but there are a TON of the chubby older white women in their gaudy floral print shirts, roller backpacks trailing behind them, blinking away with swag.
there are also just a lot of people who are really excited to be here. crowds hovering intently around a new credit card booth, others fixated at the possibilities offered by a drop shipper, and still more entranced by keyword optimizers. all completely uninteresting to me, but they are riveted. in that way, this is about what i expected and i am definitely bored, so i'm glad i never bothered going to this before. i'm glad i came of course, just to see it. this other world is stunning.
at lunch i overheard a couple discussing what they'd learnt so far that day. mostly the man was being pedantic to the woman ('everyone knows how to do 'x'') but beyond that arrogance it was fascinating the attention they were giving this topic -- idiosyncrasies of international shipping and their payments -- as if it were the most compelling topic on earth.
which it is not. at least not to me. but wow.
oh and additional swag is ribbons! indicating your ebay prowess as a buyer, seller, whatever. some of these ribbon banners go to the floor. pretty awesome.
got bored to tears with the wooden speeches and value adds, plus hi, i'd been going nonstop since yesterday morning at this point, so i bailed at the end of the paypal speech. subway'd back to my room where i thought i'd crash but apparently i needed to wind down. and wind down a lot because i read this for at least 2 hours before going to sleep.
compelling book? not really. in fact, i almost put the book down because of tedious dialogue and a typo (their/they're) on page 9. yes, even 3 weeks later i remember it was on page 9. that's how much typos cheese me.
i also talked a bit to my lower bunkmate, a fellow conference attendee and budding ebay seller, from philadelphia. she said in the latter part of the keynote, they kept talking about win-something.
me: what?
her: you know those things you get when you feel real good?
me: ...
me: you mean, endorphins?
her: yes! but they called them windorphins
me: somebody's been thinking too hard.
anyway after talking and reading, i finally crashed. sleeping wasn't too bad although going to the bathroom in the middle of the night was tricky (down ladder, don't forget room key, amble down hall, come back, remember how to use key, grab ladder appropriately so as to not fall, put key back in easy to remember spot). then i woke up and it was time to write again.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
teach my feet to fly
as i prepared to start writing about tonight, these lyrics popped into my head:
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
christmas is coming. reindeer everywhere. songs of joy, peace and praise were in the air tonight. and yes, i ended up wishing i had a river to skate away on. more on that later.
so, today. today i actually cooked. took beef (i'd previously cooked!), made a pasta kit and sauteed some mushrooms to create not-too-shabby beef stroganoff. my mom would be so proud.
around 315 i took off to visit 2 holiday fairs up in SF before going to oakland for dinner and symphonic escapades. i live in san jose. driving to sf - barring an accident - usually takes 45 minutes, hour tops. i got to sf at 520!! and no accidents, mind you. i'm quite happy that everyone's driving slower and safer in these torrential downpours, but apparently i need to start doubling my drive times in rain rather than adding 50%.
so, it's 520 and the first fair ended at 5. thanks! i tried to find the location anyway, just in case some folks were still there, but i couldn't find it so gave up by 530. headed over to the 2nd one, and wow what a waste that was. incredibly tiny, mostly scarves and stone jewelry. pretty, but not for me.
now it's almost 6 and i really don't need to have dinner until 7, but i head over anyway because i haven't planned alternatives. and hey! it's still raining! so it took me a half hour to cross the bridge. sweet. by the time i get parked and over to luka's, a mere 2 blocks from the paramount, it's almost 645. that plus the incredibly slow service meant i finished dinner about 730. had the roast chicken, which was pretty good. also the slow service gave me plenty of time to write. =)
i'd called ahead to try to find out how many tickets i had for the concert, and no one knew. thanks! turns out there were just 2, so at least i only wasted 1 ticket. i didn't mention this earlier, but i never really planned to sing, even thought it was a singalong. i know 2 pieces from handel's messiah and that's IT. so in perfect Moore tradition, i hummed rather than sang.
i ended up thinking about my parents a lot while i was there. during the intermission i wrote this:
this was the first time, as an adult, i'd sat all the way through the messiah and i must say, it's a rather uneven bit of work. sections are quite beautiful and others rather dull. but there was one soprano who took my breath away, her voice was so incredibly delightful that again, i got misty.
i really ran the emotional gamut tonight, and i suppose i shouldn't have been surprised, since good music has been known to make me cry. nevertheless i felt a bit stunned by the amount of crying i did on the way home. FlagFloodgatesOpenEnabled. found myself thinking about things i thought i had resolved, and realized they weren't, which i've decided is my favorite tactic for torturing myself.
i still feel rather unsteady but since it's after 2am now, i'm going to interpret that as needing sleep rather than analyzing myself *any* further. 'night. :)
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
christmas is coming. reindeer everywhere. songs of joy, peace and praise were in the air tonight. and yes, i ended up wishing i had a river to skate away on. more on that later.
so, today. today i actually cooked. took beef (i'd previously cooked!), made a pasta kit and sauteed some mushrooms to create not-too-shabby beef stroganoff. my mom would be so proud.
around 315 i took off to visit 2 holiday fairs up in SF before going to oakland for dinner and symphonic escapades. i live in san jose. driving to sf - barring an accident - usually takes 45 minutes, hour tops. i got to sf at 520!! and no accidents, mind you. i'm quite happy that everyone's driving slower and safer in these torrential downpours, but apparently i need to start doubling my drive times in rain rather than adding 50%.
so, it's 520 and the first fair ended at 5. thanks! i tried to find the location anyway, just in case some folks were still there, but i couldn't find it so gave up by 530. headed over to the 2nd one, and wow what a waste that was. incredibly tiny, mostly scarves and stone jewelry. pretty, but not for me.
now it's almost 6 and i really don't need to have dinner until 7, but i head over anyway because i haven't planned alternatives. and hey! it's still raining! so it took me a half hour to cross the bridge. sweet. by the time i get parked and over to luka's, a mere 2 blocks from the paramount, it's almost 645. that plus the incredibly slow service meant i finished dinner about 730. had the roast chicken, which was pretty good. also the slow service gave me plenty of time to write. =)
i'd called ahead to try to find out how many tickets i had for the concert, and no one knew. thanks! turns out there were just 2, so at least i only wasted 1 ticket. i didn't mention this earlier, but i never really planned to sing, even thought it was a singalong. i know 2 pieces from handel's messiah and that's IT. so in perfect Moore tradition, i hummed rather than sang.
i ended up thinking about my parents a lot while i was there. during the intermission i wrote this:
sitting in a gilded palace, i am overcome with loss and longing for my parents tonight. knowing there was a time when both of them sang this production, and undoubtedly better than some of these guys. i wish so much that i could rescue them. give them the best medical attention, all the money they need, to return them to a time when they were as golden as this room.i almost started crying when i wrote that, not just because i wanted it, but because i knew that even if i could move the earth for them, tomorrow the problem would just be something else. i love them, god i love them. they can be so much fun. but...i guess i hate feeling like the Really Mature One because often, i'm not that bright.
this was the first time, as an adult, i'd sat all the way through the messiah and i must say, it's a rather uneven bit of work. sections are quite beautiful and others rather dull. but there was one soprano who took my breath away, her voice was so incredibly delightful that again, i got misty.
i really ran the emotional gamut tonight, and i suppose i shouldn't have been surprised, since good music has been known to make me cry. nevertheless i felt a bit stunned by the amount of crying i did on the way home. FlagFloodgatesOpenEnabled. found myself thinking about things i thought i had resolved, and realized they weren't, which i've decided is my favorite tactic for torturing myself.
i still feel rather unsteady but since it's after 2am now, i'm going to interpret that as needing sleep rather than analyzing myself *any* further. 'night. :)
Friday, November 17, 2006
east bay experiment
last saturday was a wonderful experiment in going out on my own and having a great time. during the week i'd heard about several things i wanted to check out in berkeley, so i decided to make a day of it. plus an evening activity in the city! so:
first up was maven fair, an extremely delightful but far too tiny craft fair. it's happening again in 2 weeks and if you want excellent women-made gifts for the holidays (or whatever), i highly recommend going. even though they only filled one room, there was an abundance of adorable stuff and i had a difficult time narrowing down to some handmade cards and a delightfully wicked necklace with a retro pinup girl (with a rifle!) on it. so awesome.
yet another craft fair was on my agenda, this one a little bigger but actually not quite as interesting, ultimately. however i did get a cool ceramic piece with a rabbit on it.
next on the horizon: rock climbing! since i didn't know how big indian rock really was, i thought i should get some nourishment for afterwards. on my way to the Most Perfect Cupcake Ever, i checked out a cute dog store, adorable stationery shop, and a few other places. really adorable section of town, must return.
with my cupcake at the ready, i headed up to indian rock. there are some seriously narrow streets up that way! and so convoluted, i almost got lost but thankfully the street i ended up on went right to the park. i knew ahead of time that there were steps in the rock so i went up the first set i saw.
note, that picture is not of the first set. no, the set i went up stopped after about 5 steps, then you had to freestyle it. um. ok. i tried a couple of different routes -- i could see people at the top! -- but since i had plans for later, and it was getting *really* treacherous, i stopped after about 5 minutes and climbed back down. i went around to my left...a few more steps, but then similarly difficult route. i kept hearing a mom talk to her small son: honey, it's ok that you can't climb to the top, don't worry.
yeah no kidding! i climbed back down to get out of their way and decided to go around to the other side. snapped a shot of the impending sunset, turned around and lo and behold, there were the steps that led to the top! immediately i scampered up and after i'd enjoyed the *seriously* incredible vistas, snapped a few more shots with my phone.
incidentally, indian rock, not really that tall. but since i had That Cupcake anyway and was starting to feel a bit hungry, went ahead and ate it. oh my.
next up was killing a bit of time til my nighttime event. i'd thought about seeing a movie at bay street emeryville, but since i was running a little late (for that), i opted to shop there a bit (always been curious about that place) and grab dinner at asqew grill. we'd been to the one in the marina district before - yum yum. once again i was scouring for pants. and the old navy there was having an awesome half off their clearance sale. however, no go.
fit of mass consumerism complete, i headed to the city. it'd been a long time since i took the bay bridge at night. i forgot how pretty the bay/city night lights are. anyway, made my way over to the make out room (awesome name, eh?) for writers with drinks. had a smatter of queer and other writers reading from their works.
sound a bit boring? well it wasn't. the host, which thanks to the internet i now know is charlie anders, was HILARIOUS. and one of the writer/readers, madeleine robins, was so amazing i bought one of her books immediately afterwards. i never do that. especially considering the genre, kind of historical mystery, but the excerpt from petty treason was absolutely hysterical. and brilliant! oh, oh so smart. so i knew i must make it mine.
after this, it was late, i was tired and headed home. it was a good day. :-)
first up was maven fair, an extremely delightful but far too tiny craft fair. it's happening again in 2 weeks and if you want excellent women-made gifts for the holidays (or whatever), i highly recommend going. even though they only filled one room, there was an abundance of adorable stuff and i had a difficult time narrowing down to some handmade cards and a delightfully wicked necklace with a retro pinup girl (with a rifle!) on it. so awesome.
yet another craft fair was on my agenda, this one a little bigger but actually not quite as interesting, ultimately. however i did get a cool ceramic piece with a rabbit on it.
next on the horizon: rock climbing! since i didn't know how big indian rock really was, i thought i should get some nourishment for afterwards. on my way to the Most Perfect Cupcake Ever, i checked out a cute dog store, adorable stationery shop, and a few other places. really adorable section of town, must return.
with my cupcake at the ready, i headed up to indian rock. there are some seriously narrow streets up that way! and so convoluted, i almost got lost but thankfully the street i ended up on went right to the park. i knew ahead of time that there were steps in the rock so i went up the first set i saw.
note, that picture is not of the first set. no, the set i went up stopped after about 5 steps, then you had to freestyle it. um. ok. i tried a couple of different routes -- i could see people at the top! -- but since i had plans for later, and it was getting *really* treacherous, i stopped after about 5 minutes and climbed back down. i went around to my left...a few more steps, but then similarly difficult route. i kept hearing a mom talk to her small son: honey, it's ok that you can't climb to the top, don't worry.
yeah no kidding! i climbed back down to get out of their way and decided to go around to the other side. snapped a shot of the impending sunset, turned around and lo and behold, there were the steps that led to the top! immediately i scampered up and after i'd enjoyed the *seriously* incredible vistas, snapped a few more shots with my phone.
incidentally, indian rock, not really that tall. but since i had That Cupcake anyway and was starting to feel a bit hungry, went ahead and ate it. oh my.
next up was killing a bit of time til my nighttime event. i'd thought about seeing a movie at bay street emeryville, but since i was running a little late (for that), i opted to shop there a bit (always been curious about that place) and grab dinner at asqew grill. we'd been to the one in the marina district before - yum yum. once again i was scouring for pants. and the old navy there was having an awesome half off their clearance sale. however, no go.
fit of mass consumerism complete, i headed to the city. it'd been a long time since i took the bay bridge at night. i forgot how pretty the bay/city night lights are. anyway, made my way over to the make out room (awesome name, eh?) for writers with drinks. had a smatter of queer and other writers reading from their works.
sound a bit boring? well it wasn't. the host, which thanks to the internet i now know is charlie anders, was HILARIOUS. and one of the writer/readers, madeleine robins, was so amazing i bought one of her books immediately afterwards. i never do that. especially considering the genre, kind of historical mystery, but the excerpt from petty treason was absolutely hysterical. and brilliant! oh, oh so smart. so i knew i must make it mine.
after this, it was late, i was tired and headed home. it was a good day. :-)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
toe-tingling action
i just spent almost 2 hours roller skating. again. woo!
i also have "boogie nights" looping in my head. as i start feeling sleepy it starts over again, almost like it's trying to scare me. BOOgie nights!
i'm exhausted but happily so because i had fun. but part of me also feels a little sad because i'm remembering the conversations i've had lately regarding hockey. and for the record those are connected because there's something called roller hockey, in case you ice fiends didn't know. ;-)
why would thinking about hockey make me feel sad? because i can't do it. and how do i know that? because a year and a half ago, i tried at one of the infamous GHATD sessions.
i never blogged about it because i was so goddamn upset over how it went down. you have no idea how much i wanted to play. even though i couldn't (can't) really ice skate, i was supremely motivated because i realized it would be a fabulous way for me to a) make friends and b) lose weight.
granted i've worked out the weight part another way. but the friends thing, that's tough. i'm not really that good at it (in general) and even worse, i'm picky. i need friends who are interesting, funny, smart, or some combination thereof. try as i might, i just can't be tight with people who are all about getting drunk and hollering. not that i don't enjoy drinking or hollering on occasion, but as a career it's not my deal.
back to hockey. so the short version of What Went Wrong is that i have a hidden disability (ick), if you will, that among other things, makes it extremely difficult for me to regulate my temperature, especially the heat. this is partially due to several surgeries for this condition, resulting in partial lymph node removals. anyway. a good 10 minutes after i finally made it onto the ice, i knew i was in trouble. because the gear was snugly covering up a good 75% of me, my heat index was going off the charts.
i can be very stubborn when i want. so i kept at it, hoping it would pass, that i was just sweating profusely because i was getting my bearings. after another 10 minutes, i had to call it and skate away, because i couldn't see. an unstoppable river was pouring off my head and into my eyes, and after 20 minutes of that, i blurrily - and angrily - made my way back to the bench and started taking off the gear. of course i immediately started feeling better, once my skin could breathe, but i was crabby beyond belief. i was glad i didn't really know anyone at that point (liz and andrea had left) because i wouldn't have been good company.
later i talked with liz about gear alternatives, but i could tell that basically, nothing was going to work for me. that kind of (skin) confined sportsmanship is just not for me. far as i can tell, that also relates to roller hockey, which my sister suggested the other day. i looked into the gear some...it would probably be a *little* better, but not much.
and i hate that. i hate that there is something about my body that's preventing me from doing what i want. what i know that i could otherwise do. i think that with experience i'd have become an awesome hockey player. but i'll never get to find out what that's like, and that sucks.
</rant >
as much as i hate this, there are such worse things i could have in my life, and i know it. for starters, at least i have use of all my limbs, so i can get out there like i did tonight. oh and, my skin condition is SO much better than it used to be. 90% of the time my only awareness of it is a daily medication, and believe me i'm incessantly grateful for that. but i guess, i finally felt ready to write about all this, so i went for it.
and really, i'll try to make my next post about last weekend and the fun i had. been too busy at work!
i also have "boogie nights" looping in my head. as i start feeling sleepy it starts over again, almost like it's trying to scare me. BOOgie nights!
i'm exhausted but happily so because i had fun. but part of me also feels a little sad because i'm remembering the conversations i've had lately regarding hockey. and for the record those are connected because there's something called roller hockey, in case you ice fiends didn't know. ;-)
why would thinking about hockey make me feel sad? because i can't do it. and how do i know that? because a year and a half ago, i tried at one of the infamous GHATD sessions.
i never blogged about it because i was so goddamn upset over how it went down. you have no idea how much i wanted to play. even though i couldn't (can't) really ice skate, i was supremely motivated because i realized it would be a fabulous way for me to a) make friends and b) lose weight.
granted i've worked out the weight part another way. but the friends thing, that's tough. i'm not really that good at it (in general) and even worse, i'm picky. i need friends who are interesting, funny, smart, or some combination thereof. try as i might, i just can't be tight with people who are all about getting drunk and hollering. not that i don't enjoy drinking or hollering on occasion, but as a career it's not my deal.
back to hockey. so the short version of What Went Wrong is that i have a hidden disability (ick), if you will, that among other things, makes it extremely difficult for me to regulate my temperature, especially the heat. this is partially due to several surgeries for this condition, resulting in partial lymph node removals. anyway. a good 10 minutes after i finally made it onto the ice, i knew i was in trouble. because the gear was snugly covering up a good 75% of me, my heat index was going off the charts.
i can be very stubborn when i want. so i kept at it, hoping it would pass, that i was just sweating profusely because i was getting my bearings. after another 10 minutes, i had to call it and skate away, because i couldn't see. an unstoppable river was pouring off my head and into my eyes, and after 20 minutes of that, i blurrily - and angrily - made my way back to the bench and started taking off the gear. of course i immediately started feeling better, once my skin could breathe, but i was crabby beyond belief. i was glad i didn't really know anyone at that point (liz and andrea had left) because i wouldn't have been good company.
later i talked with liz about gear alternatives, but i could tell that basically, nothing was going to work for me. that kind of (skin) confined sportsmanship is just not for me. far as i can tell, that also relates to roller hockey, which my sister suggested the other day. i looked into the gear some...it would probably be a *little* better, but not much.
and i hate that. i hate that there is something about my body that's preventing me from doing what i want. what i know that i could otherwise do. i think that with experience i'd have become an awesome hockey player. but i'll never get to find out what that's like, and that sucks.
</rant >
as much as i hate this, there are such worse things i could have in my life, and i know it. for starters, at least i have use of all my limbs, so i can get out there like i did tonight. oh and, my skin condition is SO much better than it used to be. 90% of the time my only awareness of it is a daily medication, and believe me i'm incessantly grateful for that. but i guess, i finally felt ready to write about all this, so i went for it.
and really, i'll try to make my next post about last weekend and the fun i had. been too busy at work!
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