Tuesday, October 28, 2008

hello from your ultimate fantasy object

You Are a Vampire

You are charming, sensual, and even a bit manipulative.
You can't help but get people to do what you want.
You have sharp senses and a strong predatory instinct.
You go after what you want, without mercy.

While you have the heart of a killer, many people are drawn to you.
You are elegant, timeless, and mysterious. You are the ultimate fantasy object.

happy halloweenie, and for the record i love you werewolves, too.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

proof of boredom: 2 posts in the same week

i was really bored this morning. oh, i had work, but not enough of it, because i am a work-eating machine. so before i went to lunch, on facebook i set my status to:

Heather hopes, upon return to her desk, to be greeted by either work or inspiration.

and inspiration was what i got. i have work friends on facebook, and apparently one of them decided my hope should take the form of a post-it.

fine by me. it's staying in front of my keyboard so that i remember to take a break - mental or otherwise - more often. and, what i really meant by inspiration was, inspiration to write.

i am in a serious funk when it comes to penning any fiction, and haven't written anything new in almost two months. before this was about work insanity but the last few days, every time i think about writing i hear 'work on your goals!' from the bosslady in my head, so i drudge through personal improvement training instead.

this is another form of procrastination and i know it. the truth is, nothing is moving me long enough to write. post-post-it, i even opened up a file called 'inspiration' and started pasting in tidbits from this awesome site i randomly found the other day. i had a whole page of it, and then i had to go somewhere - for a walk? yes, after more mind-numbing training - and when i came back, i just stared at them tidbits. yeah? so? interesting? but apparently not enough.

so. any of you writers or creative types -- has this happened to you, and what the hell did you do to break out of it? do i just need a vacation? yes, i have been stressed with family stuff, but i don't think that explains it all. i'm just really having a hard time getting started, hearing a story. and yes i just figured out i need to hear at least part of the story before i begin.

ok any of you with ideas, please hammer 'em into me.

Monday, October 20, 2008

all quiet on the western front

at least sort of. saturday was an incredible flurry of activity on the part of me, mom, and one aunt/uncle set, packing up her stuff. it was a bit tricky to keep mom focused at first, but between me and my uncle (a former army guy) we got done in about 2 hours, including time for mom to write dad a goodbye note.

meantime min kept dad busy, apparently having a very nice time. they really do get along wonderfully, so much that when she had to drop him off under a bit of a guise (reparking the car), she felt horrible for a while, wondering if he would think she was just 'being nice' in order to get him out of the house. i think he knows better, but we'll see.

min met the rest of us at the safeway down the street, and i got back into the car with her. as we drove away i started crying, thinking about how lonely and confused and angry he had to be in that moment. i had woke up that morning crying over the same thing. for all the stupid, hurtful things he has done, he is still my dad, i love him, and don't want him to be hurting.

but these things go in waves, the feelings. and so it was that a while after my early-am crying spell, min stopped me and said, you know i'm really angry at your dad right now. we have all this angst, are going to all this effort because he keeps fucking up.

at that moment i felt very calm and so i said, yeah, i felt that way about a month ago. :-p

my dad is supposed to get a phone sometime today. the only way he had to contact us in the meantime, should he choose, was email. it was quite possible he would do something rash after all this (it has happened before) and so we were very glad to see an email from my dad saturday evening.

of course it was rather pleading, full of very mixed messages...and sent to me. there have been two more messages since and i am determined to talk to my mom tonight, get him her new email address. at first she said she'd reply via my account but later i realized being their intermediary is not ok with me.

that's it for now - my extremely dreary workday is about over, and i am so outta here. i am just grateful this seems to be proceeding rather smoothly so far, and hope i have not just jinxed things.

Friday, October 17, 2008


tomorrow my mom is scheduled for departure from her salem abode, heading for parts portlandish, by which i mean our guest room. the date has been set for almost 2 weeks and her slow but consistent progress forward -- along with a fiendishly brilliant plan she emailed early this morning -- makes me think she will really leave my dad tomorrow.

am i ready? hell no. but i know she needs to do it.

is her room ready? let's say, 75% and i suppose the extra exercise has been good for me. it used to look like a storage unit exploded in there; now there are orchestrated, diminutive piles of chaos. that plus putting the bed together will keep me busy til midday tomorrow when we head southward.

oh, and the brilliant plan? send min and my dad to a bookstore or thrift store while, unbeknownst to him (but knownst to us), me, mom, and other relatives pack up her stuff. there will still be some kind of an aftermath, which i am not looking forward to at ALL, but meantime my dad and min will be in one of their favorite places.

here's hoping tomorrow doesn't suck ass.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

i have no excuse not to write

at least this morning, so here i am. so what's the haps the last few weeks? well, certainly not my mom moving in. she is now targeting next weekend. since she's given me a new date, i suppose this weekend i will actually work on the guest room...

what i really wanted to do this weekend was get out halloween decor. over the weekend we went to the roloff farms - home to the little people, big world show, if you watch that.

my punkin

min is a big fan and was ecstatic (i surprised her) to go there finally, despite having to hobble a bit. she'd wrenched her knee the week before. we got some nifty pumpkins which i will try to showcase sometime before halloweenie.

afterwards, we went to see a bad movie but followed it with yummy japanese. 8 or so hours after that, min got up from bed and uber-wrenched her knee. 10 or so hours after that, we came home from the ER, her with a big ol knee brace and orders to rest. has she been resting? using the brace? sort of. grr.

i know i'm being a bad blog hostess, what with these sporadic posts. however, if you want more frequent - if one line - updates, you should add me as a friend on facebook. i know you're all dying for up to the minute heather news, so consider this your best source.

and since i flubbed several words in the attempt to type that last paragraph, i have a question for y'all, especially those of you who might be older than me. in the last few months i've noticed that i'm starting to misspell words -- and instead of transposing letters (my longtime favorite) -- i'm spelling semi-phonetic-variations. for example, dying became dieing. news was originally knews. so....has this happened to any of you? this rampant misspelling affliction? i feel like my synapses are starting to break down.