so i've been thinking

i know i'm amusing from time to time, but as you well know, those times are quite rare. that is, if you're looking for amusement here. because if you look, say here, i believe you will find amusement on a weekly if not daily basis.

that's the first time i've looked at that page. it points out i am a fan of muppets, bacon and sleep. and if that's not amusement from the get-go, i don't know what is.

i promise this is the last time i'll pimp FB. suffice to say i hope any remaining followers will join me over there, because i have been thinking about calling my spade a grave-digging tool, and getting rid of this thing. but then i thought hey! it's nice to be able to wax on if i get a hankerin'. keeping in mind that i seem to hanker less and less these days...

oh and before i forget: any of you who have Blogger-based blogs, i'm sorry i haven't been commenting. the firewall at work does NOT play nice with their system. i can read, and post, but not comment. ridiculous but it's just the sort of corporate efficiency i've come to expect.

on that note, i got a minor promotion at work. which means i'll be ignoring you with a greater level of efficiency and entitlement, going forward. all hail the Slacker Queen, who still loves nuts on her desktop:

good morning

why yes i'm still here. although, admittedly, usually i am over *there*.

this has been a crazy week. probably because i am covering for my boss plus still doing my regular job. oh, and the car broke down. but thankfully, like most weeks, it's getting better as it goes. hopefully i have not just jinxed myself by saying that.

monday was me & min's 13-year anniversary. we went out to troutdale for a picnic and walk. part of the walk was going to be downtown but apparently they decided to celebrate memorial day by not working. so then we went to see termin@tor 4 (not that great) followed by a quick trip to powell's. who can argue with books?

look at me, being chatty. so what's up with you?

happy friday!

hi,
i am a combination of really busy, and really lazy.
other than that, i have no excuse for not writing.
well, except for a horrible cold that lasted a week.
does it help to know that i'm not doing any writing on the side, either?
work emails don't count.

but, i finished my site redesign. is it up yet? well, you can peek...
but no, i won't finish updating the main site til i get home tonight...or this weekend...
but it does feel really good to have that done.
but now i have to redo my resumes and THAT will take longer
but, go me for having a less-cluttered site.
but will that help with the scrilla?

time will tell.
time also travels and i hope to see some of that this weekend, when i take my parents to see the new Star Trek.
time for that was supposed to be last weekend but apparently, last weeked was:
time for my sinuses to go bananas.

speaking of bananas, i'm outta here!
and i will try to be more interesting next time.
oh wait! here's my current desktop:

ok now you can't say i'm not entertaining.
END TRANS

a study in contrasts

a study in contrasts
Originally uploaded by heatherama

if no one is around, dolce is a lump. however, if someone (especially me) approaches, she will start rolling over and moving her head constantly.



in other words, i took 10 shots. the single, barely-blurry one was the left, the other 9? see to the right.

so: adorable, but slightly annoying.

in other news we went to fort stevens over in astoria a few weekends ago and had a merry olde time.

in other other news...i'm getting ready to dust off my personal site. need more freelance web/writing work, bring in a bit more scrilla. yay, here's to bills!

the internet is about collaboration

a friend of mine made (most) of this for me based, as you might guess, on how funny we think we are. i then complained that 'nice' was not on the list. i am a big fan of that word, and did not think it fair -- nay, nice -- to have it left off. i wasn't sure of the point spread for nice so i opted for something more precious.

that's right. animated sheep. and if you're lucky, LOTS of them.

HAppy Friday. :)

i don't think sir conan would be happy

with this.

i'm just saying.

RAWR

another meaningless, yet fairly insightful, quiz for me to pretend i'm offering content to you on a regular basis:

You Are a Snow Leopard

You have learned that you must rely on yourself, and yourself alone, to live a happy life. You are understand the world better than most people you know. You are very perceptive and intuitive. You need lots of space to think. If you don't get the space you need, you're likely to bite someone's head off. Because you are so thoughtful and solitary, people find you to be intense and mysterious. You're even seen as intimidating.

What Big Cat Are You?

btw the up and coming news i alluded to last time? not happening. sorry, folks. but there is always tomorrow...

um...howdy!

yeah so i've been neglecting you. would you believe me if i said i'm sorry? how about if i said i'm sorry plus made this face to represent my shame?

3 weeks without a post! i'm sure i've gone longer, but there's just no excuse, really. i mean, it's not like i've been doing any of these things:

so really, other than the usual yawn-worthy excuses of mind-numbing work and the necessities of modern life, i have no answer for why i have failed you so desperately in supplying entertainment, particularly in the arena that is the web log, or "blog", if you will. no excuse at all.

unless, of course, you are willing to consider the notion that something big is around the corner. something exciting. something that literally could turn your mind to this:

is such a thing coming? is it possible? do i - do we - dare to dream of such a day?

time will tell. but don't believe everything you hear. time also can fly, but only under the right conditions.

you have been warned.

hey peeples

so i survived the whirlygig affair. i must say, recuperation is taking a lot longer than i figured. part of that is probably because of all the end0metri0sis that had to get "removed". they don't tell you that til afterwards -- especially if they don't expect it going in -- but removal of that shit means **burning** it away. so needless to say, my innards haven't been the happiest of campers.

but yesterday marked 2 weeks since the big day, and i was able to eek out a normal work schedule this week, thanks to the happy pills. i thought i could go back earlier and believe me, i was mistaken. but thank god for barely enough borrowed-PTO time and aforementioned pills.

other than feeling better physically, honestly what i can't wait for is having the mental and emotional energy to write. well, you know -- funnies. because this post's my creative limit for now, and i get how sad that is. :-p

so here's to chortles next week! man, i love that word. CHORTLES.

the good and the bad

since my last post:

good: i've written more funnies.
bad: not as many as i'd like. i know, pretty minor bad. but this is because:

good: i've had some work to do. this keeps me from chomping at the bit.
bad: see above

good: i get a cyst, (very likely) 1 whirlygig, and bonus material removed thursday afternoon!
bad: that i need surgery at all. also that i have to take vacation time for it, since work's sick/vacation policy sucks.

good: that i have a job, crappy policies or not.
bad: that i had to turn down a totally ToTaLLy awesome job because of what i'd have to write about. their posting was anonymous, so i didn't know what i was getting into when i applied. i really thought hard about it but realized i just couldn't swallow a senior writer gig *there*, because i just don't get *them*. a one-off i could probably swing. full time hack? nope. and that sucks.

good: i may be jinxing it, but today looks to be light. here's to more writing!
bad: none because la la la a pox on the jinxing!

a productive week+

since my last post, a little over a week ago, i have written 3 pieces. 3 solid, funny pieces. if that's not progress then i don't know what is. other than the obvious benefit of actually *writing*, here are the other benefits to teh funny:

1. it's easier to come up with good ideas.
2. it's shorter, and therefore faster, to write than anything else.
3. since it's easier and shorter, i've actually *finished* 3. as opposed to not finishing anything i've started over the last year.
4. distractions do not interrupt the flow of writing. in fact, sometimes they help (see #1). this is also huge, because when i'm writing something more =serious= it can take me a while to get into the right zone.
5. speaking of distractions, it doesn't seem to matter what music i listen to while i'm engaged in funny bidness. ROCK ON.
6. i get to laugh while i'm doing it. or just thinking about it.

my first piece, called 'Superheroes at the Wheel', gets an audience in our writer's group, next saturday. we'll see what they think but as for min, i heard her laughing all the way from upstairs. i think this is a good sign.

59 is fine

last year i read 59 books. if you want to know what i *thought* of those books in detail, then you should add me as a friend on goodreads. but suffice to say, some of them were excellent and others, not.

that averages out to a little more than 1 a week. that much reading sounds like a good excuse for my not writing, but the truth is i wrote GOBS in 2008 -- i just wrote erratically. and while i know i love books, seeing those stats kind of surprised me, made me wonder if i should slow down. really carve out more time for writing. but then i know the right answer for that...

on that note, yesterday i finished this. it is a very funny book, but it could've been so much better. the idea of doing that - writing something funnier - really appeals to me. or if i'm going to start now, a-peel-s to me. it also reminds me of something i read recently in a writer's block article (which counts as procrastinating and being productive at the same time). the writer said:

if your publisher said they could only publish 1 book, what book would you write?

naturally this assumes you are still crippled by writer's block and have not started, or at least finished, said book. also this assumes you have a publisher.

i must've been hormonal at the time, because i answered: either a book about my upbringing, or obsession. given my history, there's some overlap there, but suffice to say, those are things i've already given a lot of attention, writing-wise. but today, after being disappointed in (but still enjoying) FRC, and then some *usual* facebook silliness, i had a revelation. i am very, very silly. witty, even, on a fairly regular basis. OMG I SHUD B FUNI RITER.

now, i get how hard it is to be funny. the truth is, if you're trying to get people to laugh, it's much harder work than getting them to cry or feel sad with some sort of dramatic fiasco. this is just a guess because i'm (chicken) winging it, but it occurs to me that maybe this is tied to the whole 'it's easier to remember bad stuff than the good' mentality. somehow we can access those feelings much quicker - some of us can - and so moving from that semi-default, semi-serious place to laughter is just...trickier. it requires more leaps for our brain.

then again maybe this is just a great excuse for all the failed comedy writing out there.

at any rate, attacking humor instead of drama is also a great excuse for avoiding the stories i've started over the last 12 months, and starting something new instead. where i go from here is a big fat mystery, since humor is both nowhere and everywhere.

speaking of everywhere, here is just one of the random ideas that popped in, thanks to one of the many lists i'm on. there was a request for a Jogging Stroller. immediately i thought:

wanted: Jogging Stroller, Running Refrigerator, and Sauntering Microwave

there's so many places you could go with something like this. and that's the point. these are the kind of things that run through my brain ALL the time, and i think it's about time i started making better use of my humor-related ADD.

downtime sorta sucks

especially if you're, let's say, also struck with writer's block. the funny thing is that i did start a new story the other day, but when i find myself with time to think about - and work on - it, i get frozen. the thought of penning anything further just stops me in my tracks.

i am sure it doesn't help that this, and the story i'd started late last year, involve a lot of personal history mining. i didn't mind mining, i suppose, but i think i'm getting frozen (in advance, mind you) thinking about the inevitable sharing of said stories -- for example, min is in my writer's group.

how do people ever write semi-autobiographical stories? at least about people who are still alive. i can't turn off that damned internal Nice Girl for more than an hour at a time, it seems, before she just clams up. and sure, i could write pure-on fiction. but this other stuff is clogging up the drain, and so nothing lovely is getting through. or rather, nothing inordinately clunky. a little clunky i don't mind, but this...

besides work and being creatively cranky, things have been all right. we've been working through this, i took down 80% of our christmas tree, finally went to the (somewhat disappointing) downtown library, the world was coated in white for most of sunday, and i have eaten here twice in the last week. carbolicious!

in closing, i would like to thank the facebook gods for being occasionally diverting.
that is all.

everything may not be perfect

some people erroneously think obama is our next

but the truth is, today marks some real

at least as far as i'm concerned. i didn't plan to watch the inauguration festivities this morning, but when i turned on the news -- looking for traffic reports, mind you -- i got Inauguration Fever. when i got to work, after some work, i got things streaming. there were no lightning bolts, other than this: thank god, we finally have someone intelligent at the helm. is it possible we can finally start changing things for the better?

so, happy inauguration day, folks. that is all. :)

what, i'm posting already?

i know, less than a month and here i am again. wtf? i blame it on a variety of things:

1. my mom is moving out. when? hard to say, because she has to wait for her rental application to go through. where's she moving? BACK WITH MY DAD.

apparently she has to re-apply to live there, and that can take a while, so she'll still be with us a few more weeks til that settles. meantime she's with him this weekend - their anniversary, wouldn't you know - as a 'let's see how this goes+couples therapy' round.

yes therapy, which is the sole reason i feel partly ok about her going. it's not that i want them to stay apart - a big part of me wants them together - but i want them to do so *smartly*. you know, when my dad has not only taken some responsibility for his actions, but had time to prove he's being responsible. the operative words in that sentence are responsible and time. i think he is starting the responsible thing, but time? he's just started. there's no way to tell if this is all a ruse to get my mom back. it's not like there haven't been ruses the other 5-odd times she's left before.

but i digress. and in a surprising move, i told my mom exactly why i thought this was a bad idea, at this point in their process. normally i keep my mouth shut - her life and all. but surprise, she's living with us, so i'm a little more invested, and plus her being right there apparently forced my mouth open.

2. i am insanely bored at work. note, i have plenty to do, for the most part -- i just want to do something else. and i want to BE somewhere else, in an environment that is not so restrictive. but, because of the upcoming whirlygig removal (late feb, woo) i'm not going anywhere for a while. but after, well...we'll see.

on that note, i am incredibly grateful for my job. i know so many people have been laid off, work mind-numbing, back-breaking jobs and i'm grateful that mine requires neither. well, the mind-numbing, at times, but usually doesn't last long. anyway, i'm keeping my eyes and ears open is alls i gots to say.

3. i am realizing i need to get some more friends. another earth-shatterer i know. but i am talking about people i can go to the movies with, people here. i have plennnnty of online friends. i want someone to go to dinner with, hike, and in the past i've made most of my friends at work. that isn't working as well here, which means i need to branch out. it's frustrating because, honestly, i'm a little lazy when it comes to that. it's hard work and a lot easier to spend my weeknights or weekends running errands, watching tv or going for a drive. so, this is a kick in the pants note for myself.

4. i've had a serious writing problem for months. as in, not writing. what, you couldn't tell? you're so sweet lying to me like that, thanks. but it's true and i suspect/hope it may be ending soon because:

a) i've actually been *thinking* about writing the last week or so, and i hadn't thought about writing for a long time, but
b) i actually wrote this morning. it was just about a sexxxy dream i had last night (good morning!) but writing about all that passion, well, it fired the little Writer in me up.

so i am thinking good thoughts instead of the pessimistic ones. at least for a couple of hours.

ok that's it for now, time to get cracking on the day. hope you all are having a good weekend. :)