a night for the ladeez

work has me in limbo yet again, partly due to my new status, partly due to external issues thwarting regular progress for many folks. which leaves me in a space where i could either read (on the computer, since i forgot my book), or write. i'm tired of reading, apparently, so here's the first in a possibly lengthy series of random posts from yours truly.

last night had 2 great things: my mom, and good food. it is always so wonderful to see her; even when she's miserable, she's still silly and smiling. no wonder pearl loves her more than us. seriously -- she follows my mom to the bathroom.

after catching up for a little bit, we tried to pick a movie and although no one was crazy about it, settled on this, which was playing at the laurelhurst. first, though, was to eat, and being in the mood for japanese, a little research landed us at masa east.

this was seriously some of the best japanese food i've ever had in my life, and having lived in the bay area, i've had some damn good japanese. i had this udon-shitake-scallop soup that was incredibly dreamy. the decor was adorably hip, all of the food so incredibly divine, and the entrees were all around $10. we will absolutely be going back.

incidentally, if you're in the mood for chinese food, do not go to mandarin palace in sw portland off allen. that is the worst faux chinese i've had in decades, so thank god we didn't pay much for it (coupon).

anyway, our tummies delightfully sated, we headed up to the laurelhurst. i had been there several times in my youth, and surprisingly it still looked pretty good... for a secondrun theatre. standing in line to buy tickets, i notice the SOLD OUT sign for our movie. crap. only thing left is some old guys...well, it won some awards, we're here already, it's only been playing for 5 minutes, let's give it a whirl.

so we whirled on into our designated room, apparently after the Impetus For The Entire Film had transpired. luckily min caught the end of it (mom and i had been acquiring liquid sustenance) and filled us in, not that it really mattered, because this movie? a little weak. i will give plenty of kudos to the actual acting. all the major characters, and most of the minor ones, gave pretty solid performances. but the writing, even the art direction...too predictable. there was an occasionally interesting turn of phrase, but that's about it. and the ending, well it was just awkward and sad. realistic, i suppose, and i don't need to have a happy ending for my movies but... i don't know, it just felt like they didn't know how to bow out.

i believe i've mentioned there is a DQ 2 blocks from my house. i also believe i've mentioned regular attendance is compulsory. thus, we stopped for drive-thru dessert, which we enjoyed at home so that pearl could alternately dance all over us and beg, an activity with which we happily complied.

and then i cursed myself for the late-night sugar high, because it took me two hours to go to sleep. even so, as you can see, i'm coherent today. well, at least enough to pretend i am.

a random series of events

since i haven't posted much by way of a real update in the last several weeks. not that i'm making promises about this post, either. ;-)

• went and saw the new harry potter yesterday. i won't give anything away, but i will say that i enjoyed it much more than the previous movie, which i thought incredibly tedious. there was some tedium this time as well, but also more mystery, and a little darker. it also was the first time that i actually *wished* i had read the book (haven't read any of them) because there were a few references that didn't make sense. a couple times we went 'huh?' but just let it go.
  
  incidentally we saw the movie on a digital projection screen (for those of you nearby, oakridge mall) and WOW the picture quality was amazing. the screen is normal size but none of that occasional blurring, popping, or any kind of film distortion at all.
  
  
• started seeing a chiropractor. yes for the first time ever. i've always thought of being double-jointed a nice perk, but apparently the official term is hypermobility and if you extend that mobility a little too far, it can kinda mess you up. well, i extended my shoulder and wrist too far a few weeks ago (lugging around stuff in boston, then holding a baby in the same position for about 90 minutes straight). oops.
  
  as someone who's always done their own cracking, the visit was a little odd. but good of course, since she was able to get to a few places i never have. and naturally, learned about a few ways i've been accidentally making things worse. oops part deux.
  
  
• june was a bit of a writing dry spell, which i deplored, but i appear to be on the upswing. i mention this because the response i had to one piece kind of surprised me. i'm on this fab fab list called writerspark (if you like writing, i highly encourage you to join) whose main purpose is to send out a series of writing prompts each week. people send in their responses, critique...it's a fairly low-volume list these days due to people like me, who mostly lurk and hoard the prompts for later.
  
  well the other day one came in that just grabbed me:

  “It was the kind of promise…”
  Compose a piece of reasonable length that begins with or that includes the phrase above.

  immediately, in popped a little scene: mildly seductive banter (from me! can you believe it?) with two people in a coffee shop. but more to my upcoming point, it was a first person narrative where the actors were only identified as "i" and "she".
  
  now i would think, if a woman (that's me) wrote this, that people would assume this was a girl-on-girl encounter. apparently not. almost everyone i got feedback from assumed that "i" was a man. this in turn makes me wonder (assume?) that my readers were all straight. because i have a hard time believing that someone queer, reading my post, would make the same assumptions. i also would add, i think anyone who knows *me* would assume it was girl-on-girl action. because you know that's how i roll. ;-) anyway, it was an enlightening, if accidental, exercise in interpretation.

that's all for now. hope y'all are having a good weekend!

ocean's 13

should've stopped at 11. i'm just saying.

also, seeing the movie for free does not make it better. it does, however, remove the possibility of guilt from your wallet.

in case you were thinking about it

i implore you, do not go see superman spiderman 3. i guarantee it will be a waste of your money and time. not that i would know. the only good things about it:

- the music (great opening score, and a few good rock tracks)
- kirsten dunst as a redhead, in a dress that perfectly matches her eyes
- that i get to warn all of you

you're welcome!

i knownst how to gigglst

overheard in a meeting: maybe unknownst to you...

immediately i tuned out and thought: but knownst to us!

and then i'm like, where the hell is that from? immediately i wrote it down so as not to forget. thanks to the internet, i was reminded that it's a line from this bit of excellence.

there are SO many good quotes from this movie that i'm hard pressed to pick a favorite. meantime here's the one i use almost every time i vacuum: She's gone from suck to blow!

ok back to work.

khaaaaan!

in planning yesterday's forays outside the home, min mentioned she might like to see a movie. while i finished puttering, she browsed the internet to this end. and in the end, the only good thing she came up with was topper at the stanford theatre.

now topper is a fun little movie and i do love me some cary grant. back when i used to drool over men, i had this poster of him from north by northwest on my wall.

but we weren't crazy about the times for it, so i sat down to look as well. and after a few moments i said, 'oh, man! star trek 2 the wrath of khan is playing at the del mar, but at midnight!'

min instantly surprised me by suggesting we could go out, run our errands, come home for a nap, and then go to the movie. i laughed. because, yeah right! come midnight -- let alone 3 am, which would be the earliest we'd get home -- our asses are in bed. maybe not long for mine, but she'd have been down for hours.

i went to get dressed. i couldn't stop thinking about it. star trek! on the big screen! Fun! Prizes! Montalban! i said as much and min repeated her napping suggestion.

and i am very happy to report she actually made it! she has been having a real hard time with her teeth and stomach lately, so i really thought the movie wasn't going to happen. we got there a few minutes late and thus missed getting tickets for the drawing (see: Prizes!), but what was really awesome was who won: a young boy in a star trek (TNG) uniform. he was so happy and adorable. one of his prizes was a foam khan-esque muscle suit. heh.

oh and the movie, much fun. apart from the movie itself, it's been a while since i've been to anything fannish, and really enjoyed the extra giggles and cheers at some of the cooler...and campier...elements of the show that trek fans appreciate. anyway, not a bad way to spend a saturday night. :)

winter must be cold for those with no lead memories

so i have this freelance project i've just started - the usual full gamut from design to production, probably with a little writing - and right now we're in the initial design phase. in that phase, if i've gotten almost no visual direction from the business owner (which unfortunately is the norm), then after reflection on their needs, concerns, market, i troll the internet to get my design juices flowing.

tonight in my trolling i found this. when i saw the pencils i involuntarily took in a breath. how adorable! it's a little bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils, their tips ready to loose all kinds of creativity. they're lead cigarettes that i want to linger over and smoke down to their stubby little erasers. and i don't even use pencils anymore. well hardly ever. but seeing them, it was like the promise of creation was in the air, i could smell it.

i suppose this all goes back to being young, when i DID use pencils voraciously, and loving school so very much. truly, i adored it. if i could've afforded to go to school forever i probably would've, and i've got the student loans to prove it.

anyway. when i saw the pencils that phrase popped into my mind: a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils. and i thought, why does that sound familiar? so i googled. there's lots of people saying that, or close. wtf? and then finally, i found it -- it's a variation on a movie quote, of course. it's from you've got mail, which in my opinion is actually rather annoying, but does have moments of wittiness and charm, including the following:

Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.

so there you have it. most everything about me probably can be understood through a good movie quote.

smart cookie

your clever mind will lead you to many rewards.

so said my fortune cookie, at lunch today. i can attest to my cleverness yielding rewards o'plenty. i can also attest to it fucking things up rather grandly. but for the most part, i like clever. it's much more entertaining, for me AND for you.

in the Slightly Amusing Department, since i'm waiting for clearcase to wrap up…friday night i rediscovered the joys of meatloaf.

i am generally of the opinion that no one makes good meatloaf except my mother. i have ventured into the beefy wilderness, on one or two occasions, resulting in gastric acid misadventures and of course, wasted scrilla. this all changed on friday, when min and i met karen and samantha for dinner at rick and anne's.

there was a beet salad that was tempting, as well as my standby, mac&cheese, but for some reason, i felt the call of the beef. i was considering my options when karen pointed to our left and said, "i think that's the meatloaf over there."

and what before mine wondering eyes appeared, but a pile of creamy mashed potatoes and beef gravy, itsy broccoli florets, and thin green beans, encircling a sizeable slab of gravy-topped meatloaf.

instantly i began salivating. i couldn't smell it, but it looked so amazing, it just *had* to be. so i ordered it. and oh, how good it was. seriously.

our conversation was also quite lovely. as was k&s's cute little abode! very cozy. really dug the wheaties display in the kitchen, and atticus jumping in my lap after 2 seconds, and promptly falling asleep.

saturday we went to SF. saw the therapist for a very good session. there be some growing in our household! i'm really proud of both of us, really. still plenty of room to get better, but we're communicating in a much healthier fashion overall and that's nothing to sneeze at. went to palomino for dinner and decided that place isn't as good as it used to be. oh well.

sunday we went to breakfast at mimi's cafe in campbell. as we got out of the car, min looked across the street and saw that my new favorite movie, stranger than fiction, was playing at one of the century theatres. "hey, what do you think about seeing STF later today?" she asked.

how can i not think that's a good idea? so after grubbin we went and checked the time - 7pm. wah. let's check the paper! hey! 235 at the camera 7! since min needed a few more winter shirts, we killed a little time at ross, got me a winter jacket (finally), and then headed over to ze filme. which ended up being a double feature with for your consideration. incidentally, that movie? kinda mediocre. but did have this great line: The internet. That's the thing with email, right?

i enjoyed STF (and now i'm enjoying its proximity to STFU) just as much as the first time. i am also enjoying the same post-movie writing spike, thank you very much. i love anything that reminds me of how completely bewitching prose can be, and that's precisely what this film does. so color me a little more in love than i was yesterday.

wrinkles, burritos and Limited Time Offers

in an entirely boring series of internet trolling events, somehow yesterday i ended up on a movie poster/wallpaper website and stumbled onto this set. the will ferrell one is pretty funny but not surprisingly, i opted for the lovely yet utterly stark shot of emma thompson. apart from her nicely disheveled reddish hair (o red, how i love thee), you can really see her wrinkles, her age, and for some reason, that makes me love it more. every time i clear the apps from the screen, or start up the computer, seeing this shot of her makes me think of the movie and subsequently, want to write.

and that feeling -- the desire to create -- is better than any pleasure i might get from a cute, silly, artistic or nature- related backdrop. it makes me feel alive. even if all i do is write a little blog entry like this.

today did not go quite so well as yesterday but it was not without its treats. after a very annoying workday and later botched attempt at visiting richmond, i went to el cerrito and visited a ross, trying to cheaply procure another professional outfit. i only had the one outfit, you see, that fit me. :-p i used to have this beyoootiful baby blue suit but now that's a world away.

after scoring a couple of decent options, i hooked up with the lovely karen and samantha for dinner! when they found out i was going to be up their way today, they sweetly invited me to a meal. i'd met them once before - at liz's baby shower - so i had a vague idea of how they looked. but naturally i didn't remember what they sounded like, so when a woman answered the phone i asked, is this samantha or karen? the woman laughed and said, is this heather?

hee. anyway it was samantha and - i forgot to tell you then - you really do have a great laugh! we met at a place down the street (from me) whose name i've already forgotten, but it was pretty tasty burrito-ness plus some great conversation. afterwards we went to coldstone creamery, which considering how full i felt as i headed home, i probably should've skipped. but...so! tasty! and good to get to know you guys a bit better. :)

tomorrow i was hoping to visit the telegraph street fair, however considering the amount of rain forecast, i think i'll pass. hopefully next weekend will be better for outdoor exploits! and tomorrow night i'm planning to go to the sing along messiah in oakland. scored me some free tickets back in july!

which brings me to the Limited Time Offer. i can't recall how many tickets i have - it's either 2, or 4. right now i'm going by myself, but i could bring with me 1 or 3 additional people. i'm going to call tomorrow to try to confirm but... if anyone out there is interested in attending, email me (queen at iheather dot net) by 2pm tomorrow! i promise not to sing off key. ;-)

stranger than fiction

that is the name of the movie i just saw. with the oh so divine emma thompson. i have loved her for a long time, but my god. i forget how much until i see her again. they can try to make her look rough - no makeup, baggy clothes, unkempt hair - but she's still beautiful beautiful. with the most delectable accent.

i chose this movie over babel because i felt i needed a comedy. and indeed, stranger than fiction is a comedy. starring buster! but it is also decidedly dramatic and thought-provoking.

without giving away the story, i'll say the movie is about emma thompson and will ferrell's characters' struggle with life. how we humans affect each other, our decision making. fate is a nice idea, but we're really rather interconnected when it comes to our choices.

i was walking to my car afterwards and thinking, this movie makes me want to be a writer. a real (fiction) writer. makes me want to embrace passion, whatever my passion is. admittedly i can be fuzzy on that, but anyway i'm feeling energized, and then i hear this guy behind me, talking about how the movie was ok but not really great, too predictable, etc.

i thought, dude, you've missed the point. if you just look at the surface, then yes, it may seem flat. but really it was about the decisions we make, why we make them and what kind of person do we want to be.

and so as i was driving home i thought, what kind of person DO i want to be? am i being that person now? and i thought about the ways that i have been different since min left. she's been gone a little over a month now and some differences that come to mind are:

- i weigh a little less (hey, start with the easy)
- i'm wearing/have bought slightly nicer - and edgier - clothes
- i hate work more now
- i've been more depressed, especially the last 2 weeks
- i'm listening to more jazz and classical. i tend to listen to bluesy jazz when i'm depressed or pensive, and classical when i'm feeling brainy...or pensive. for instance on the way home tonight. :-p
- i've been far more interested in gallavanting, and have gallavanted, in new ways

i would imagine those are the main things but that's actually quite a list for only a few weeks. in any case, especially in light of the movie, it makes me think perhaps i really do have a serious change brewing. granted i've been job hunting, and toying with the idea of moving (out of state) but those are all huge puffy clouds of possibility. i have no idea how things will actually go, what kind of job i will transition to, whether a move will be required, and so on.

but i confess, i love the idea of a huge change. i think i need it, in more ways than one. i'm sure to some degree i love it because i have so many things i want to escape, to start fresh with, to retry. things that are difficult to do when you're in your Usual.

i'm flashing now to how i was with my ex, in tennessee, reserved in public. and then later, when i was with min, in montana, and how incredibly open i was. naturally i could've been that open in tennessee. nothing stopped me...except myself. i felt like i was one person there, and got to be a new person in the new place. and i was. people say you can't run away from yourself and i buy that to some degree. but you can take a moment to redefine yourself, because you realize you NEED to change, and then be that person from then on.

and that's what i did. so i can do it again. i guess the question is, what do i want, feel i need, to change?

i have several ideas on that but burning tonight is the movie's reminder of why i love writing: the power of words, the power of creativity. i need to let more of that out, and more often. i've always felt like i have these stories inside of me but can't get them out. i sense them there, under the surface, taunting me. although i don't know how i'll let them out yet, i look forward to their arrival. someday.