Friday, September 22, 2006

girls in motion

last night i dreamed about going to a club. drinking, watching the throngs, joining the throngs and grinding away with some girl. just like college.

oh except for the "with some girl" part. because if you think i can be a wallflower now, back then i was permanently affixed to the wall.

anyway, i don't know that i've had that type of dream since then either, but my thoughts on why i had that dream last night:

1. yesterday min and i talked about going to a club tonight. which we won't, but still, we NEVER talk about going to clubs.
2. min's preparing to go on a month-long trip. yes month-long! to visit friends east and northward. which means that
3. i'm going to be by myself, free to do whatever, whenever. which made me think of clubbing, apparently, and is soooo likely to happen.

our last therapy session, which i said was almost like pre-breakup planning, also focused on us doing more solitary activities. getting out more in the world, without the other person, to remind us of who we are, and that who we are is strong, when we're alone. granted that was 70% targeted to em, 30% to me, since i am out and on my own more often than she is, already. but this was impetus to really crack on her trip, which had been being thrown around for months. now she is actively planning to go in mid/late october, with some $ help from a friend who wants her to visit. :-) otherwise we couldn't afford it til next year.

anyway, while she's gone, i AM looking forward to getting out and seeing people that maybe i don't see that often, doing things that she wouldn't want to do (maybe ice skate! haven't done that for a while), etc. but to be honest i'm really looking forward to cleaning up the spare bedroom. :-p because it is filled with mostly her stuff, and (i will talk to her about this first, of course, but) i want to get it all down into the basement. i haven't seen most of the floor in a long time. also, my sister & her hubbie are coming at thanksgiving and hope to sleep in there. and no, not on top of all the, um, stuff.


Dharma said...

It's been interesting to watch you and your relationship through your blog. I think it would be interesting to chart things out for yourself to see if theire are any patterns.

Also, Min gonna be gone a month! Wow, given how things sound, which include her not going out much, this is huge.

I hope you use the time to discover you a bit more.

heather said...

i agree, i think this will be really interesting, at least, for both of us. and hopefully very productive!

actually the pattern thing is an interesting idea, i'll think about it. thanks!

wen said...

sounds like you'll both have lots of adventures to share when your month apart is up! :) i find that having some solo activities is a good idea--both people come back refreshed (and usually missing the other person) and with new stories and ideas to share.

you'll have to come on down to one of the sc outings if you get bored!