last night i dreamed about going to a club. drinking, watching the throngs, joining the throngs and grinding away with some girl. just like college.
oh except for the "with some girl" part. because if you think i can be a wallflower now, back then i was permanently affixed to the wall.
anyway, i don't know that i've had that type of dream since then either, but my thoughts on why i had that dream last night:
1. yesterday min and i talked about going to a club tonight. which we won't, but still, we NEVER talk about going to clubs.
2. min's preparing to go on a month-long trip. yes month-long! to visit friends east and northward. which means that
3. i'm going to be by myself, free to do whatever, whenever. which made me think of clubbing, apparently, and is soooo likely to happen.
our last therapy session, which i said was almost like pre-breakup planning, also focused on us doing more solitary activities. getting out more in the world, without the other person, to remind us of who we are, and that who we are is strong, when we're alone. granted that was 70% targeted to em, 30% to me, since i am out and on my own more often than she is, already. but this was impetus to really crack on her trip, which had been being thrown around for months. now she is actively planning to go in mid/late october, with some $ help from a friend who wants her to visit. :-) otherwise we couldn't afford it til next year.
anyway, while she's gone, i AM looking forward to getting out and seeing people that maybe i don't see that often, doing things that she wouldn't want to do (maybe ice skate! haven't done that for a while), etc. but to be honest i'm really looking forward to cleaning up the spare bedroom. :-p because it is filled with mostly her stuff, and (i will talk to her about this first, of course, but) i want to get it all down into the basement. i haven't seen most of the floor in a long time. also, my sister & her hubbie are coming at thanksgiving and hope to sleep in there. and no, not on top of all the, um, stuff.