min is doing a lot better, yay! she's still sleeping a lot but is having a lot less pain (5 out of 10) and been going for a couple of walks down the hall each day. she is still not up for talking really but i have been sending on everyone's well wishes and prayers to her, so keep 'em coming! at this point, we are guessing she might come home monday or tuesday but our next talk with the doctor will be telling. whenever that might occur - doc has been a tad awol.
in other news, i am in this weird place where i am both loving and hating (different) recent changes in myself. fyi, good + bad does not equal null. it equals self-induced torture.
and i can torture myself with the best of them, i tell you what. when i was younger i used to cut (still have some faint scars on one arm) and journal like a bandit because i was too shy or embarassed to talk out loud. i'm sane enough not to cut anymore, and i've developed enough charm (hah) to have acquired friends who let me yammer sometimes and don't call me an idiot (to my face anyway).
but maybe that's what i need - someone to tell me to step off. wake me up. give me a reality check. but in other ways, i feel recently my eyes have been reopened to the world. i guess what i'm saying is right now i'm not sure i trust my own judgement. i feel a little lost.