Tuesday, December 05, 2006

jinx

i took today off so min and i could have a little fun. however, that is not what happened. our day was jinxed first by the phone call we got around midnight, from her sister wilma. i pick up the phone. wilma says: i wanted to let you guys know that mom died.

WHAT? i say, both because i'm half-awake and can't believe it.

unfortunately this made her repeat it. unfortunately i blurted out with another WHAT? and she graciously repeated it again. then she started to tell me more details and i said wait, and handed the phone to min.

later i felt bad for how intense and abrupt i was, but hey! i could barely hear her through my sleepy haze. and on top of that, it didn't make sense. dead? out of the blue? what? later m told me i was fine, my sleepiness distorted how i thought i sounded, too. :-p

min always had a pretty rocky relationship with both her parents but in the last few years, and especially the last few months when she got to visit with her mom for almost 2 whole weeks, she really reconnected with her mother. and of course, now she is ever so grateful she had day after day to just talk with her.

her mom's health has been iffy for a while, but relatively stable considering she'd had a few strokes and strong diabetes. apparently she had a quick onset of pneumonia, and had been in the hospital a day or two. then last night her blood pressure suddenly lowered, and she went into a coma. she died about an hour later. a rather gentle way to go, really, considering.

we totally could not afford to fly or drive her down to tucson, what with the Great Trip she just took that we haven't finished paying for. but one of her sisters is going to cover a flight down and she'll leave thursday or friday. she actually didn't want to go - she feels like she said goodbye to her mom already - but is going to support wilma, who is the foundation of the family even when she should sit on her ass and take a break.

i asked if she wanted me to come with her and she said nah, not for her sake. admittedly i felt ambivalent about the whole deal, but we realized it was really better for me to stay because of a) money b) my thing thursday and c) pearl, who we'd have had to get a sitter for. technically we could bring her but she's been a little under the weather and i'd rather not put her through a plane ride right now.

despite all this we hoped to get out to SF today, take advantage of the free first tuesday at the deyoung museum. but - i suspect partially due to the above - min was just too sick today. there were a lot of phone calls this early morning, and then needed more sleep (we both did), and when she got up, the stress, i think, just made her condition really horrible today. she fell asleep early tonight though so i'm hoping tomorrow is better. for everyone.

8 comments:

Carol said...

I'm so sorry, both for the fact and the day. Hippie beams to you and Min.

wen said...

i'm so sorry both your loss. sending big hugs and good vibes (or hippie beams as carol said) to you...

heather said...

thanks you guys

Wyatt's Mom said...

Oh Heather, I'll echo what everyone else is saying, even though I'm not exactly sure what hippie beams are. I'm so glad that Min got to say goodbye. I hope that I'm as lucky. My peace surround you both.

Andrea said...

oh god! how terrible! condolences to min and her family.

Kelly said...

Condolences to you both. Take good care of yourselves.

Dharma said...

Apparently blogger ate my comment from yesterday, how annoying.

I am sorry about Min's mother but the timing seems some of the best possible given that she found some peace with her recently. And in that the passing appears that it was peaceful. My thought to you and Min.

heather said...

thanks, all of you!