i know i like everyone to think otherwise, but i am an idiot. do not be fooled by my witty dialogue. do not be fooled by my diverse educational background or my beautiful bug fu awards.
because when it comes to what's important in life, i am an idiot. i don't know what i'm doing and should not be trusted with the emotional well being of others, to say nothing of my own. sure, at one point i thought perhaps i knew what i was doing. but i was very, very wrong.
in other words, things are not that great right now. there has been no new drama per se, just conversations crystallizing this fact for me. i hope that someday things will be better, but given my supreme ability to fuck things up, i doubt it. i don't trust myself to make a sound decision, want the right things, or keep my mouth shut about it if i don't want the right things.
i have to leave work early today because it's my last day in this half-assed cube. i'm going to miss this little half-assed cube if for no other reason than it's Not Across From My Boss. and - issues with my current boss aside - it's never low pressure sitting across from your boss. i guess, unless you're sleeping with your boss. or if you're your own boss. but neither of these things are the case today. anyway, i'm hoping that going home, not thinking about work for a while, maybe walking the dog or something, will help me clear my head.
then again all those things are just another venue for my idiocy.