Thursday, June 15, 2006

the confluence of love

means that you can get a 99% and still not pass the test. because that 1%, when woven in at compilation time, means the difference between bliss and agony.

at least this is how it seems to me.

on a related note: i am going to try to stop whining so much (internally and externally). i don't get to have what i want. so what? most people don't. it sucks but that's just the way it is. i'm hoping that, with work at improving what i can, eventually i can not give a * about the rest, and be content with what i have. the hunger for the impossible is killing me, and there's just no point in that.

and in completely different news: our neighbor penny seems to have gone a smidge bananas. lots of yelling and irrationality yesterday. since we share the same (large) lot, we have to see her all the time and things are tense now...yuck. i hope today she woke up a little saner.


wen said...

sometimes it's good to whine a bit and get it off your chest. i had a big rant over at my blog today.

that said, i also try to have days where i go through with an attitude of gratitude and don't complain at all.

you deserve to be happy. it's not going to be sustainable for you (or fair to you or your partner) if you go through life and are present in your relationship with an "i can't have what i want" undertone.

the way i see it is you can either change what you want, so you want what you have or leave your desires alone figure out how to get them fulfilled.

that doesn't mean you'll ALWAYS be happy or get what you want, just that the major strands of your life are satisfying OVERALL and that there's a sense of possibility and an understanding that what you have access to, while perhaps not perfect, is certainly enough...

big hugs! i know this is hard.

heather said...

thanks wen. i don't want to be resentful either. a successful synthesis of desire and realism would be nice. hopefully i can get there...or at least, close enough that i don't feel wacked.