a couple of days ago min and i saw our therapist, B. i think this is a good time to point out that B is fucking awesome. because for the first time in a LONG time, i feel hopeful. hopeful that min and i really WILL be able to work out some kind of arrangement, whereby i can be with her and other women. hopeful that maybe i really am not a complete and utter fuckup for having these desires, for not being able to rid myself of them. that it means i'm simply someone with a lot of love and high interaction quotient. someone obviously struggling with a way to deal with it, but still. that doesn't make me evil.
and oh, i have felt evil the last few months.
anyway, it was a great session, full of many oh!s and ah!s. afterwards we went to this great pasta place, valencia pizza that we last went to, oh, 2 years ago? anyway the food was still stellar, cheap, and massive in portion size. min and i split some basil cream fettucini with scrumptious shrimp and still took home leftovers.
yesterday we went up to one of the weekend's many dyke yard sales, in san leandro. got a bunch of awesome retro paper (wrapping, but could double as artwork) uber-cheap. then went to our old standby, fat apple's - the el cerrito one - for lunch, and then on to the point isabel dog park. what a great park! it was foggy but so so beautiful, right by the water. and pearl had the best time checking out all the other woofers.
i don't really have a lot else to share right now, except to say, i hope i can be patient. i know it is going to take min and i some time to sort through what kind of a relationship we are going to have in the future. *i've* been waiting so long to change things, i know it makes me feel impatient. but min's only known about this for a little over two months. we've made a lot of progress in the way we interact with each other, and hopefully we'll get even better as we go. whether we're ultimately monogamous or not, it's all still, to me, encouraging.