Sunday, June 11, 2006


a couple of days ago min and i saw our therapist, B. i think this is a good time to point out that B is fucking awesome. because for the first time in a LONG time, i feel hopeful. hopeful that min and i really WILL be able to work out some kind of arrangement, whereby i can be with her and other women. hopeful that maybe i really am not a complete and utter fuckup for having these desires, for not being able to rid myself of them. that it means i'm simply someone with a lot of love and high interaction quotient. someone obviously struggling with a way to deal with it, but still. that doesn't make me evil.

and oh, i have felt evil the last few months.

anyway, it was a great session, full of many oh!s and ah!s. afterwards we went to this great pasta place, valencia pizza that we last went to, oh, 2 years ago? anyway the food was still stellar, cheap, and massive in portion size. min and i split some basil cream fettucini with scrumptious shrimp and still took home leftovers.

yesterday we went up to one of the weekend's many dyke yard sales, in san leandro. got a bunch of awesome retro paper (wrapping, but could double as artwork) uber-cheap. then went to our old standby, fat apple's - the el cerrito one - for lunch, and then on to the point isabel dog park. what a great park! it was foggy but so so beautiful, right by the water. and pearl had the best time checking out all the other woofers.

i don't really have a lot else to share right now, except to say, i hope i can be patient. i know it is going to take min and i some time to sort through what kind of a relationship we are going to have in the future. *i've* been waiting so long to change things, i know it makes me feel impatient. but min's only known about this for a little over two months. we've made a lot of progress in the way we interact with each other, and hopefully we'll get even better as we go. whether we're ultimately monogamous or not, it's all still, to me, encouraging.

1 comment:

wen said...

that's great! i think you put it very well--that you're someone with a high love and interaction quotient. i may have to steal that line. :)

i also think it's wise that you understand that min's only been at this for a few months. sometimes in relationships, one partner goes from A to G and the other doesn't really know about it and so is back there, tooling around somewhere between A & B. :) I have had that happen before (and have been on both sides of it). The acknowledgement that it may be new for Min but not for you is a good one...

Best of luck and your therapist does sound great.